Beijing Doodles

A Tweet for Amanda

Vince Allio -

I'm sitting on the toilet scrolling twitter. A tweet that led to Amanda.

Let's back up first and tell the story of how Amanda came to be.

Its 2013 and I'm on a date. First one since I found myself unexpectedly single at 47. The woman is charming. I am in a super honest phase and over a glass of wine I tell her that for me there will be no marriage, no kids. Her eyes flash like a sword. There would be no second date. This pattern repeats in differant ways and finally I learn maybe not to lead with the "no marriage, no kids" line on the first date.

Fast forward three years and I'm on my first date with Sabrina. Japanese restaurant so I can have sashimi and continue my battle against carbs. Different feeling with her and I don't lead with the "no marriage, no kids".  A few months pass and things are good. I think it's time to mention the no marriage, no kids thing. She dumps me. A weekend goes by and we meet to talk about "things".  I see the unfairness to her, I've always seen in, which is why I mentioned the no marriage, no kids. What I can commit to her is that if we are together, then we are together. That if for some reason I need to leave China, then I won't leave her behind. Still no kids, though. We didn't discuss or fight about the no kids much although I know it bothered her.

Now it's the begining of 2019 and I soften up on the marriage thing in part because I may need to leave China because of work. But I don't want a ceremony. Just make it legal. And we did. I wrote about it here.

Which brings me back to toilet twitter. I'm scrolling through and see that Duane Kuiper's wife has died. What are we doing, I think. What is the purpose if we aren't living. On the way back to my desk I text (yes text) Sabrina that I'm ok to have a kid. She's taken a bit aback. Maybe got use to the idea that a child wasn't going to happen for her. She's 44. She warmed up to it.

And now, as I type this she's handing Amanda a book and Amanda at 10 months does what any 10 month old does. She puts it into her mouth. Living.