Cup of Coffee

I bought her a cup of coffee and told her I don't love her anymore.

We had been together for three years. Met at a conference. I was supposed to speak but there was a huge summer storm and they canceled the sessions for the day. The only ones who were dumb enough to come in were me and her. We got to talking and she found my nervous energy charming and I found her nearness a comfort in contrast to my desperate loneness.

Truth be told, I never loved her but thought I did from time to time.

I waited for the coffee to be poured. Waited for her to add just the smallest portion of skim milk to her cup. Waited until I had her full attention and then I told her. It went exactly like this.

I said "Anyway, something serious I want to talk about" at which she perked up. She knows this lead in from me means there is something really serious. It crossed my mind that she might think I was going to propose, this is how relationships at this stage go -- dump or marry. I could see her searching my face for clues and when none was found, her response was a simple "ok".  "Its not working for me anymore",  I said and I knew what thoughts she would jump too. That I had found another woman (not really). I expected she would ask me The Question so I fast forwarded direction to The Answer.

"I don't love you anymore", I said, "I just don't"

She got up, started to leave a dollar on the table, thought better of it, turned and left.

I finished my cup, hands shaking slightly. I left her cup to go cold, not taking a sip, preferring my coffee black and hot.

I bought her a cup of coffee and told her I don't love her anymore.