Father’s Day

I get home with a bag of groceries from the local import market. It’s not that robust. Chicken breast, tomatoes, diet coke, candy, wine. I’m tired. I had biked to the market from work and some days when I do that I hit the low energy thing. I open the door and kobe runs up to me like a middle linebacker. Elisa says hi from the couch. Lydia is sleeping in their room. Aidan is on the other couch maybe working on his homework. I ask Aidan if he ordered food and he said he did. I grab the leftover lasagna from Lydia’s order. I’ve been getting home later because of the new job and that means we don’t eat together except for Friday night pizza parties and weekends.

As I get ready for my first desperate bite, Elisa pulls out tests for me to sign. It feels overwhelming to me to ask her if she knew why she got some of the answers wrong and then to listen to her explain. She got a 95 out of a 100. I take my first byte. It tastes amazing even though I didn’t bother to warm it. Then Elisa asks if I will help her study and I say sure, after I eat and do a few things. Inside I’m thinking I need help. I really need help. I check on Lydia and she has a 10 minute video she made with classmates for English class. I love her videos but the thought if watching it now cripples me. I wash dishes, do a load of laundry, and fold last nights laundry. Before I walk Kobe, I help Elisa with the English review. It’s amazing how confusing the book’s exercises are. I’m spent.

I put the leash on Kobe for his walk but he doesn’t want to go. It seems he wants Aidan to join to, so we make our way to the door and Kobe follows. Aidan and I go on a 20 minute walk. Kobe pulling when he sees other dogs, wants to pee, or smells something. He’s a beagle after all. I try to explain the NBA salary cap to Aidan and where Durant might go. Aidan tells me he’s in a relationship — a girl from his 10th grade class. He goes on how much they have in common. TV shows, music, interest in each other. She’s from a more traditional Chinese family and somehow I find that comforting. I wonder what they will think of his green hair.

We get home. Sabrina arrives, Kobe is even more excited. I watch Lydia’s video. It’s great. I collapse on the coach and watch the last episode of Chernobyl.

And I feel like a dad. Even if at times it feels too much.