Flat Tire

"On your left, on your left" comes the voice and I turn my head and see the oncoming bike rider. I am startled not by the voice but that someone would bother to call out. That someone would call out on this running/biking trail that connects Bellevue with Seattle over some lake they call Washington. I am not running to Seattle on this day, only about half way there and back, and it is a beautiful day. Sky is blue, temperature warm, air fresh. I run past a mom and her maybe eight year old daughter who are biking on the trail. The go in 200 yard segments. First the daughter bikes in front with the mom following and then the daughter stops and the mom keeps going for a bit at which point she stops and then the daughter starts riding again until she reaches the mom and then she stops. And then they repeat. They are being so safe.

My mind flies back in time, one week, and 6000 miles away to Beijing. I am on my bike dodging a stream of people walking against traffic to the subway station. Small motorized carts, also going in the opposite direction weave in and out of the people maze. Buses and cars use the bike lane as it suits them and I am wearing a mask to avoid breathing in their fumes. I feel my back tire is soft and deny that it might be flat until I can deny no more. I stop and get off my bike, feel the tire which is indeed flat, and take my mask off. I have a pump with me but no repair kit and the street vendors who repair bikes are no longer to be found in Beijing it seems. I pull out my cell phone as is my habit and see I have a new email. It is from my sister Cathy saying my dad fell the night before – that he is ok but weak. I start to reply but then stop. I put air in my tire and hope it lasts the next 20 minutes on my way to work.

I think a lot about my dad these days and what he must be going through after losing his wife, my mom. How the foundation of what was a day, of what was known and unknown, is missing. How losing a wife is not something you get over and even though others have been through the same experience and "understand" what you are going through, you still go through it alone.

I make it to work and I was able to bike the hour home by pumping the back tire full of air and leaning forward when I biked. The bike leans against the wall nearby as I type this, tire still unrepaired.