Ground Zero

I am in Hong Kong waiting in line at a 7-11. It is my turn. I step to the counter. A man whispers in my ear “that won’t be enough”.

I was in Hong Kong to renew my visa and go back to work. I had failed on my own. I did not know then that I would be further alone soon. For then, it was just work.

I got back to my hotel and took the elevator up to the fifth floor. Elderly Chinese were getting off on the 3rd floor as the hotel apparently had some kind of community center built in. The greeted me in perfect, warm, English which was something I wasn’t used to.

My hotel room was a rectangular box with white walls. The windows on the far end fronted another wall. No natural light nor anything natural was in that room. TV bored me. Internet bored me. I didn’t feel like reading. I thought maybe I was depressed only to find unbearable depression months later. At that time, I was just starting.

I don’t know why I failed only that I didn’t really try and I needed to run back somewhere safe. I twisted off the cap. I don’t know why I was here except it was the next thing to do. I poured a glass. I don’t know why I felt alone except that I was. I took a sip.

I woke up the next morning worse for wear and found my way to the consolute making it barely on time. With a fuzzy brain I submitted my forms and prepared to return to life not knowing when it would start again.