Human
One of the things I like about being a parent is the consistent discovery of my children's astonishing humanity. As corny as it sounds, this humanity gives one a purpose and a strange desire protect the child against any corrupting force.
This story is a series of anecdotes about Aidan's humanity.
We are driving to IKEA, well I am driving since Aidan isn't quite five. Aidan is in the back seat. I bribed him to come with me with the promise of an ice cream cone which I know they sell at IKEA for one kuai (about 15 cents). Aidan is asking me for to play my Chinese lessons (http://chinesepod.com) on the car stereo because he enjoys it more than the music and some of the lessons have proven quite funny in the past. When we listen to them I think he learns more English than I learn Chinese. Aidan, in fact, has recently started to help me with my Chinese learning. I can ask him how to say "car" in Chinese and he will pronounce it for me, but not as one would expect a child too, but slowly and with perfect tonal pronunciation so that I may repeat. His pronunciation is far better than any Chinese teacher I've had. And if you don't know anything about mandarin know this; tones and context are very, very important. Through this process Aidan is learning that his father is tone deaf and has the memory of a stone.
The Beijing IKEA is the 2nd largest in the world's largest and I'm pretty sure the largest one Aidan has been too. During the hour we spend wandering the floors in search of a floor lamp, Aidan does two things that I dare say he would not have done a month ago. First, he does not constantly scream, plea, kick, and cry for ice cream. Second, when he saw a red stuffed alligator (not a real alligator, mind you, otherwise I would have described that as a "dead stuffed alligator") he wanted me to buy it for him but by the time we finished shopping he reasonably put it back without calling me a bad egg. Once we got our one kuai ice creams Aidan sat with me and ate his quietly, deliberately.
And then there is Aidan's maturity in the bathroom. I will spare you the gory details but he is very clear that he wants to be in charge of the number two situation. On Tuesday we were at our local Chinese TexMex restaurant and Aidan came running to out table from the kids area. He says something to Yang in Chinese which translates to me taking him to the bathroom. I am holding Aidan since he has no shoes on and while we wait for the bathroom to free up I ask him if he has many friends at school. Lately he hasn't wanted to go to school and up until the last week he has been unusually angry. I've been worried that the bigger kids have been picking on him because he is the only mixed kid in the class and he is smaller and gentler than nearly everyone. He tells me "most don't like me" and then tells me that "two like me, one boy and one girl". I feel sad for him because when he was a toddler he was the center of attention with other toddlers and adults a like. The bathroom door opens. Aidan pees while standing on my feat and when we go to wash our hands he tells me "mama says don't need that one for peepee". That one being soap. I take a mental note.
Some other random signs of humanity from the past week.
On Saturday morning we were getting ready to take Lydia to the Vista Clinic because she had a fever. Aidan overheard our talking and sat on the stairs and sulked. When asked why, he said he was sad that Lydia would be getting her finger pricked in order to draw blood. That we shouldn't make her endure that.
On Monday when our Ayi picked up Aidan from school Aidan noticed she had no gloves on (it was about 20F) and grabbed her hands rubbed them against his hands.
Aidan has discovered that he can play Wiggle games online. All we need to do is point him at the web site and he is off playing a variety of games. He's quickly learned where to click, what not to click, and even type his name. He focuses on the screen like his baba but with better posture.
One final one. When Yang is out at night for mahjong or dinner with friends or the occasional husband, her phone will ring and Aidan will be on the line. "mama, you said you would be home by 8pm" or "mama, you come home now" or more harsh words when he is really missing her. This has been going on for about three months. The other day Yang mentioned it to her mom as she was watching Aidan on one of these nights. Yang's mom said she didn't know Aidan was calling, but that Aidan can just go to the phone and dial Yang's cell phone. Which is a 10 digit number.
Being human means we cut, we bleed, we heal, we mend, we get stronger, we get weaker, we love, we hate, we live, we die, we are everything in between. No one is limited to or by a word, a story, or someone else's interpretation. Being human means we are islands to ourselves with occasional visitors. What a wonderful thing it is to visit Aidan's island from time to time. And when I visit, to notice how familiar beaches and sand dunes are.