Old Apartment

I have the afternoon free so I pick up Aidan and Lydia from school. Their school is very close to the apartment we lived in when we first got to Beijing in 2005. In some ways those days were simpler before what was unknown became known and then unknown again. Our apartment, which we call Chaowaimen after the name of the building, was changing tenants so I brought Lydia and Aidan by for a visit.

The apartment is in a bit of disarray as the previous tenant was using it as an office and the new tenant would use it as a residence. This was of no concern to Aidan and Lydia as they marveled at the stairs and what used to be their room. They ran up the stairs and peered out the sliding glass door into the living room below. It was as if they had never left.

We went downstairs to the third floor where there is a large courtyard between the buildings and played like we used too except I wasn't so worried about them falling down or exploring some area where they could get hurt. We just played.

I asked Lydia if she remembered the apartment and she said not really. She was 3.5 years old when we moved. Aidan remembered a bit more. Me, memories flooding back. I am sure they are selective but I have no control over the selection criteria. I remember countless hours walking Lydia to sleep so that Yang could put Aidan to sleep first. How Yang wanted me to just let the ayi do it but I insisted that a parent should do it. That Lydia wasn't happy in either case. I remember Lydia's first birthday party down on that 3rd floor courtyard and how Lydia mostly slept through the whole thing. I remember Aidan sitting at my computer wanting to watch a video. I remember not having very much space with me and Yang in our small room along with at least one of the kids. I remember being worried that the kids would fall down the stairs. I remember staring out the windows a lot and on more than one occasion seeing naked people. I remember the weekly trips to the market in the basement where the kids would pick out a cheap toy and us parents loving all the attention. I remember it not being perfect, but nice enough, which I guess is its own form of perfection.

We moved to a bigger place after Yang got pregnant with Elisa. That was five years ago. I miss those early days. I know they will never come back.