Phone Call

I feel small fingers poking my arm and somewhere in the recess of sleep I hear "daddy, daddy" and I roll over. My eyes lift like tire irons and my vision is still shaky from the night before. I see my little boy holding his spiderman toothbrush, ready for me to brush his teeth. I do the best I can to sit up, feeling my stomach go "slosh", and I take the brush from him. I just want to sleep. To die really, but sleep would be ok. I aim for his mouth, ask him to open it, and do I try to brush side to side. He likes the part when I brush his tongue and is eager to get to that part. So am I, for it will mean we are finished. Just as we do finish, my daughter comes in, with her Batman toothbrush, ready to be brushed too. Finally they are gone and I am left alone to sleep in my cold bed. I hear the ayi playing with them downstairs. My wife is in a bed somewhere, but not this one. My mind shifts to work, as it often does, and I can't shut it off. I used to think about technology things – how to write this code or solve this problem – but now mainly I think about people. And I bitch. My bitch today is my boss promoted someone to be a manager of managers obviously before he was ready and at the same time is holding me back. Then I smile at a small epiphany. My boss is fucking the new, male, manager of mangers. Neither have girlfriends and they both have begun dressing better recently, so there is no better conclusion. Not that I care do I, I just hope they use gel so they are not constipated in the restroom and I have to ultimately put up with their smell. With this happy thought I am off to sleep for a few more hours and when I awake the house is quiet. I am alone. I turn on the TV. CNN. Wow, this is living. I stumble out of bed and smell the cigarettes on my shirt. My underwear is torn in the crotch and I wonder if I wore it our or pulled on it last night. There are flecks of blood on my tightie whities. I brush my teeth. I make coffee and down three cups and start to feel awake. It then starts to come back to me, this night before. It hits me in waves, I pick up my cell phone, and make a call. "Honey, we got to talk"