School Stress

I get home from work and Elisa and her boyfriend Zhehuang are playing in the living room. Elisa is as happy as can be. Elisa leads Zhehuang around our apartment by an exercise band pretending to drive a car. I ask her if she wants to go to the market with me and she happily accepts. Lydia and Aidan simply give me ice cream orders. As we wait for the elevator I tell Elisa that she needs to go to school tomorrow. I watch her reaction and it is fine, or so I think. Once we get to the first floor she says "tomorrow, I have" and she gestures to her throat and coughs. She's stayed home from school the past few days because she's had a bit of a cold. That and school was stressing her out. It was easy enough to tell. A week ago, after her first day at school and then her second and then her third I would see a happy/manic little girl in our house. Over stimulated. Spending a day with strangers who she has yet to form an attachment too. There was other signs of stress too, like when she told Yang to pay the teacher 10,000 RMB so she doesn't need to go to school anymore. Not to mention getting the cold in the first place.

Elisa's cold is essentially gone, so I told her she needs to go to school tomorrow whether she has a cough or not. She held my hand the rest of the way to the market and then all the way back. If I had to free my hand to open a door she would immediately grab my hand back when I let go of the door. When we got home, she told the Ayi and that I asked her to go to school, hoping to get the Ayi to support her coughing excuse. Poor girl, I can't understand the Ayi so I just repeated, ever so gently, that she needs to go to school. So then I find her in the doorway to my bedroom, eyes downcast, and saying "babi, I don't want to go". Her lip is quivering. When I tell her she needs to go, she goes her bed and lies down. Sad.

Did I just ruin her night? I guess so. Do I understand going to school is the most stressful thing in the world to her right now? I do, fully. So, then why? Good question; one I could ask about many things.

School is stressful for Lydia and Aidan too. Aidan had is first episode of being overwhelmed by the amount of homework he was given over the weekend. Lydia has survived ok so far 10 days into it. Work is stressful for me to. More stressful as I now go from useless to used-full in my new role. The trick for me is I need a little bit of stress to be motivated but not so much that I break down. It's a hard balance to strike. Elisa should get there soon.