Sick or just jet lagged?

It is Wednesday morning and I’m not sure if I’m jet lagged or getting sick. No, I’m not hungover. Not this time. My mind isn’t as sharp as it normally is. Not that it’s normally a samurai sword or even a ginza. I bolster it with coffee and make it through the day. Back in my hotel room that night I have more work calls to a city that is entering mid morning. I’m now pretty sure it’s not jet lag. I’m more comfortable with the folks on the phone and I let my annoyance show.

Sleep comes fast but does not last. My head and body ache. There is no rest that night. By morning I tell myself that I will camp out in my hotel room for the day and call into the eight or so meetings I have. Despite having traveled over 5000 miles to be there. I decide to shower and then I fine myself driving into the office. Coffee, self acknowledgement that I’m suffering, and a relentless suppression of symptoms get me through the day.

It is amazing that I don’t get sick more often on these trips. I don’t handle jet lag well. The days are really long. I put a lot of stress on myself. I don’t sleep well and I don’t eat well. But can’t remember being sick on one of these trips before and I’ve made maybe 50 of them in the past 13 years. Certainly, I’ve never been this sick on one of these trips before.

Two days later and recovering I flew the 5400 miles back home and took my newly minted fiancé out for her birthday dinner. Back to work, taking the subway, dealing with jet lag, got through a day. The next day I wake up. “Jet lag, or sick”? I ask myself. I get to the subway, take it to my transfer stop. Decide to turn around and go home. I’m dying. Somehow my feet don’t go in that direction and I’m taking the transfer and heading to work. It is my son’s 16th birthday. I make it across town to his mom’s home for birthday dinner. It is fine. Genuine love. And appearances. Birthday cake extinguished, I head to my apartment. Walk the dog. Collapse on the bed. Sleep but soon awake. Stomach making hurricane noises and making sleep upright. Toilet. Repeat until nothing left and then repeat again. Next day spent at home working, sleeping, toileting. Next night repeat of the previous night. Important meeting Friday morning. I shower. Take a car to the office, which I never do. Prep for two hours. Take the one hour meeting. Nailed it. Go home. Collapse. Watch True Detective, Season 3.