Stating her case

In a few short weeks Elisa will hit the ripe old age of two and we will celebrate by boarding a plane from Vancouver to Beijing. Two, as most any parent will tell you, is the magical time with your child also known as the terrible twos. Terrible as in they are inconsolable, fussy, have grocery store clearing tantrums, and are prone to throw things. And I’m just taking about the parents, the kids are much worse. Both our older kids, Aidan and Lydia, were early adopters of the terrible twos, each showing solid signs at 18 months and in full swing by 20 months. Yang will say Aidan did not go through the phase and Lydia never left if; all I will say is that they both with through it, with Lydia stopping to spit on the roses.

Elisa is now at 23 months and she is showing signs of assertiveness and strong will without being quite terrible. Either that or her parents, beaten into submission, have lowered the bar on good behavior. The other night at dinner, Yang and I were catching up on each other’s day. Which is to say she was telling me about her three hour tennis match followed by Mahjong and I was griping about some inane fact of life at a large company. Most nights this discussion does not go very far because, well, besides not being terribly interesting to begin with, Aidan or Lydia interrupt with some pressing news of 6/7 year olds. On this night for some strange reason, we were not interrupted by the elders and where able to converse for a good 60 seconds. Then Elisa spoke. “Baba, Mama, do not speak together in English, Speak Chinese”. She was adamant and made sure her voice was heard.

After a lazy Sunday today where we took the kids to Olympic park and were resting at home, I asked Elisa if she wanted to go to the playground. Elisa decided going to the playground was a good idea and asked Cui Ayi to take her. I said no problem, I’ll take you. No she said. I said, how about I go with you, she said “don’t go”. I then offered just to take the elevator down with her. No luck. Finally, Cui Ayi offered that I was actually going running and with that Elisa relented and allowed me to take the Elevator with her.

In the big scheme of things (the big scheme being Lydia), these are pretty small outbursts. I’ve read that the terrible twos are brought on by kids having an intense need to communicate, not yet not having the full gift of language, and not being listened to when they do communicate. I believe Elisa’s terrible twos (knock on wood) are milder because she has older siblings who interact and understand her. When Lydia was two, Aidan mostly treated her as a prop but with Elisa he is playing and looking our for her needs. In this video, Aidan is showing Elisa how to play a game. Aidan is naturally speaking Chinese and for some reason is telling Elisa that “mama as money, baba has no money”.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwmtzK-kqZM&hl=en]

Elisa also benefits from having friends her age. Her best friend is Weiwei, a Japanese girl 20 days her junior. Whenever I show Elisa a picture of Weiwei, Elisa smiles and says her name. They meet at the playground 2-3 times a day, the first encounter starting at 7am. Lydia, also looks after Elisa, and while not quite at the level of patience Aidan shows is very caring in her own way.

 
Elisa and weiwei drinking milk. Elisa recently started asking for a bottle (never really used one before) after seeing weiwei use one.

The two Beijing Allio girls all dressed up and with someplace to go.