All I wanted for my birthday was a MRI.
I've experienced periodic severe back pain ever since a work morale event in 2000. We were playing basketball and a person who had no right playing but wanted to be part of the gang tried to block my shot and instead crashed his arm into my head (Later he would chip one of my teeth). Ever since that day I've had this severe back pain every few months that last a day or so. Sometimes it would last longer but not be so severe but limit my ability to walk to that of a 90 year old man. Recently during a trip to the US and then upon return, the pain incidents have been more severe, lasted longer, and with more frequency. Twice in the past two weeks the pain has forced me to stay in bed and lie extremely still for most of a day, or days. I've seen doctors twice in the past to have it checked out. The first was back in 2000 and the doctor said most back pain goes away in six months and my xray was normal. He also said I should lose some weight but declined to give me a specific number at which he would no longer make that recommendation. I did not go back to him. The second time I went to the doctor was in 2005, at the VIP ward of Chaoyang hospital in Beijing. A VIP ward grants you access to pay five times the fees with a doctor who speaks passable English. After looking at my XRAY he said he found the problem but later retracted that it was normal. His recommendation was that I dress warmly and not let the cold wind get to my back as he suspected that was causing my current pain. Apparently the cold wind is very sneaky and can slither it's way between the sock and the pant leg, up the inside of your clothes, and then attack your back. So, with that as background, I decided to go again and based on the recommendation of a friend with very similar symptoms, ask for a MRI. As luck would have it, I went the afternoon of my birthday.
Peking Union hospital is a few blocks just east of Forbidden city and behind Oriental Plaza. The hospital has been around for 90 years and is showing a bit of its age but is considered prestigious. We've gone there for pediatric checkups for Lydia and Aidan. The process is similar to the other Chinese hospitals I've been too. Here's what we did. Wait in line to pay a 5 kuai one time registration charge for the hospital. Then place our papers on a table outside of the doctor's office and wait. I was third in line. While we wait three russians come by and just open the doctor's office to ask a question. This seems quite weird at first, but turns out quite normal. The more polite people will knock but many people just open the door in order to see if the doctor is free or to ask a quick question. The patient iprivacy is not a huge concern. When it is my turn, I speak to the doctor in English but he is more comfortable in Chinese so Yang describes my problem to him. He sends me to XRAYs and we go pay for the XRAYs (400 kuai) and then wait at the XRAY room. XRAYs in hand we return to the doctor who looks at them and says they are normal, at least for a man my age. He recommends some physical therapy and some medication. Yang asks about a MRI, he doesn't think it needed. I emphasize the pain again and point out the the XRAY does not show the area between the vertebrae which was my friend's problem. Obviously convinced by my diagnosis and eager to get rid of me, he signs off on the MRI. I am going to get my birthday wish!
We pay, rather my insurance pays, 2000 kuai (about $275) for the MRI. By contrast a Chinese citizen not visiting the VIP ward would pay 700 kuai ($96). By contrast, a MRI in the US costs $400 to $4000 depending on the specific procedure and how much the hospital/insurance company can respectively squeeze out of each other. Down to the basement we go, for all MRI machines must be in the basement. We wait a while, eventually an admin calls out for the laowai (old foreigner) and I complete some paperwork including the disclaimer about possible harmful effects. The disclaimer is in Chinese, but this is China after all so I don't complain. I am led into the MRI room where Yang is not allowed. The MRI machine looks like a huge, white, sideways, doughnut maker. It is made by GE. The pretty young nurse who speaks no English motions for me to take down my pants but makes it clear that I should keep my underwear on. Suddenly I remember three young woman looking and smiling at me as I entered the elevator last week. As they past I head one say "that is aidan's baba". 42 is old enough to be reminded how old you are by others but young enough to still be in denial by yourself.
It is a closed MRI and as such I am slid into a narrow tube and the procedure begins. I have no idea how long it will take but I remember reading how people have flipped out in these devices. I can see why, it certainly is not for the claustrophobic. In any case, the time passes, I don't lose my mind, and I get to put my pants back on. The nurse says something I don't understand, later she says something else I do understand -- it is ok to leave now. My results will be ready next week.
Yang, who has been patiently waiting for me outside, greats me with a "Happy Birthday" upon my return.