A wise old friend or at least and old friend or at least and old person once told me that the reason you send your kids to school is so someone will kick their ass. That way you don’t have too. An important part of child development is knowing they are not in fact king and that real kings wield their power simply because they can. That this is an invaluable life lesson for the physical and mental ass kickings that await them. And I must say, that as an adult this does occur but that the power of understanding does not lead to insight or acceptance. Sometimes the best thing to do is just pick up your toys and play with someone else.

And it is with this context that we send Aidan to school. The other day he can home with a scratch on his head because some bully pushed him. A few days later he brought his new pokémon cards to school only to have them taken by a bigger boy. Twice. Aidan wasn't happy about it but he seems resigned to it. He is learning his place in this world. Learning the school hierarchy.

Mike Tyson was a short kid who wandered into a gym after getting is butt kicked a few times. The trainer had seen his story many times and gave the same advice each time. Walk up close to the bully and punch him as hard as you can in the stomach. And then the face. Seems to have worked for Tyson but I don’t think we want Aidan turning into him. Aidan is learning to punch into the gut, I am not sure where he learned this from, maybe Yang, who was rumored to be a fierce fighter her early years. A crack a brick on your head if you pick on my six year older brother fierce fighter.

Of course nothing is so simple as bully/not bully. It is always somewhere in between. There is a boy in our complex, same age as Aidan, but a good head taller. They play nicely most of the time but sometimes they don’t. The other day Aidan came into the apartment really mad. He said he wanted to beat up this boy and came to get weapons. He grabbed his two foot plastic sword and two other not so useful objects. The first was an extremely small plastic dagger (perhaps an inch) that wasn’t sharp or particularly menacing. The other was a pair of scissors. Yang took the scissors from him and sent him on his way.

Wang ayi, on her way back from shopping, reported that Aidan was last seen, flat on his back, being pummeled by the bigger boy.  She broke it up. When she told Yang about it, Yang said she should not interfere, the boys need to work these kinds of things out.

And I thought of the advice I received from that wise, not so wise old man.