Walking home after lunch Aidan is talking about words that sound like swear words. “Kiss my avocado”, I say. Aidan gives me a bemused look and the starts laughing and then speaking to Lydia. He wants to repeat but doesn’t know how to say avocado so I say “kiss my avocado” again and they are both laughing. Elisa is trailing behind us and smiles at our smiles. Their dad just got a little more human.

It is Chinese New Year and the tradition is to go visit your hometown and spend time with your family. On a macro level this means Beijing empties out and becomes a liveable town of Beijingers. On a personal level, this means watching “Spotlight” over a home cooked meal and a glass of wine. The kids are with their Beijinger side family where they belong but I stay away since I no longer fit there. If this sounds like a tale of self remorse, it is not. It is a tale of acceptance and avocados.

Aidan keeps some things from me, like the friend who tried to talk him into having a cigarette and that his mom now has a boyfriend. He prefers to talk to me about endless NBA trivia which reminds me of his uncle Pat. If his uncle Pat had a problem announcing names like “Theo” or “Robinson” or “Garnett”. “Who is the fastest player in the NBA”, he asks? Or “There is a player in Beijing who used to play for a..team like a dog?”. I say Stephon Marbury who used to play for the Minnesota Timberwolves.  Aidan has the double challenge of having to translate the NBA teams and players from their Chinese names into English and then pronounce the sometimes unfamiliar names.

Lydia is in some ways closer to me than Aidan. I think in part because I understand her and can read her nuanced moods. Like the time she said she didn’t want to go to my friend’s art gallery opening but she came anyway. And she dressed stylistically. And she brought her sketch book. Like Aidan, she keeps some things from me too but not for the same reasons. With Lydia, it's because it’s just not interesting to her to share.

Then there’s Elisa. We were so close a few years ago when I worked from home and took her to the “big playground” on our daily walks. She’s grown out of that and grown really close to Aidan and relies a lot on him. She can be silly playful and gets kicks of of playing charades. She can be very loving, snuggling up to me while I’m watching TV or writing.

And while I spend Chinese New Year’s eve alone, woke up and watched the super bowl alone, I spent the bulk of the holiday week with my kids. Not really doing anything. Lazy lunches. Pizza party. Watching movies. Day trip to a nearby time. Happy is, happy does.