It is 6pm and I am walking down the hallway of the Sophia Hotel Qingdao when a middle aged man is returning to his room. He is be supported by two other middle aged men without whom it appears he would not be able to walk. He was a victim of Chinese dinner with drinking tradition, which some laowai (foreigners) here simply refer to as a “baijiu (while alcohol) party”.

It is with that as background that Yang informs me that on our last night in Qingdao we will have dinner with an important business associate and that at the dinner she will be expected to drink. And that she will indeed drink. So my job will be to watch the kids – who will of course be at the dinner – and support her home if need be. We got the restaurant a little bit early and wearing our best clean clothes which was quite a feat on our last day of vacation and for me the 7th night away from home. We had an exquisite if a bit opulent room and the kids played on the coaches until the host showed up. He sat in the main chair, his number two directly across the table from him, Yang’s father on the right side, Yang on his left, and me on Yang’s left. He asked what alcohol we’d have that night and Yang informed him that I do not like baijiu (an understatement) and would prefer pijiu (beer). The host said, “no problem” and that the ratio of the drinks would be 4:1. Then it turned out that he also did not want to drink baijiu and wanted red wine. The ratio of 4:1 is way high for wine to beer and he relented to 3:1. It was at this point I started to worry that I could be the focus on this evening’s drinking.

There should be a word for it, and in Chinese there probably is, but it is common for a dinner to have one person drink way, way more than anyone else. You know he’s had enough when he passes out kind of thing. Typically this is for the main guest of the dinner – say someone returning to town after being away for may years. On one hand, drinking alcohol with meals as opposed to separate from meals is something the Chinese (and Italians) get right. (Yes, there have been studies on this style of consumption of alcohol versus say doing to a bar and just drinking which as you can imagine is less healthy not just because of the focus on alcohol but also because it excludes family who would otherwise be present). What the Chinese don’t get right and surprise many laowai (at least once) is the drinking into oblivion thing.

On this night, the host said since we are new friends me and him had to have three toasts. Toast is not the right work, ganbei (bottom up) is. So I did my three beer shots with him – maybe six ounces per shot to his two ounces of red wine – and that was that. Then one of his associates stood and said since we are new friends, we need to toast three times. And then another one of his associates followed suit. And then someone who I imagine to be his secretary’s grandmother joined in. At one point I went on the offensive and started toasting back. This is a bit risky move but can payoff when the other parties realize they may be the ones to get carted out. It can backfire when they apply simple math. On this evening, it didn’t make much difference one way or the other.

Meanwhile, the food was good, mostly seafood Chinese style with a small steak and goose liver thrown in for variety. Yang had her share as well and managed to talk some business. From what I could gather it was a very productive conversation.

All and all, I didn’t feel that bad and woke up at 6:30 am. Sitting a the hotel room desk, with the Qingdao seashore just outside the window behind me, with the early morning light and noises, I flipped on my laptop and started watching the Giants/Padres season finale. I saw Buster Posey’s home run, was floored by the beauty of his swing, and had a moment.