Grateful Trip

Grateful Trip

We’ve arrived on Alcatraz and are walking up the grade to the prison where we will start our tour. A couple, maybe in their late 50s are walking down the hill. The woman says, “That’s finally off your bucket list. Are you happy now?” Lydia and I wait a beat and then start laughing. This becomes the tag line for the rest of the day and for each activity of our family vacation. Mist trail in Yosemite, Glacier peak, Alpaca visit, even Applebees, ends with Lydia asking: “now that’s off your bucket list are you happy now?”

On these family vacations I spend way too much energy worrying. Are the plane tickets correct? Will there be a problem with the rental car? What if one of the kids get sick? What if something important like passports get lost or stolen? Are we going to be late for this appointment or that appointment? Will people find my kids ungracious or spoiled? This energy keeps me somewhat on edge and relief only really comes when we get through the security check for our flight home.

While this trip wasn’t without it’s drama (see Day Trip) I was grateful for it. I was grateful that my siblings welcomed Sabrina to the family. I was grateful for my sister Marianne organizing the family gathering. I was grateful for my kids socializing while suffering from jet lag. I was grateful for Sabrina for embracing what can be an intimidating social situation. I was grateful that I could show my kids San Francisco and Alcatraz. I was grateful for Yosemite and the opportunity to pass on its beauty the same way my parents did. I was grateful the Alpaca ranch visit the kids enjoyed so much. I was grateful for Jay-Dee finding a great ramen place for our lunch. I was grateful for Ernie coming down to the Bay Area to visit us and for Livio and Karen hosting. I was grateful to stay at Marianne’s and Michael’s and the comfort of their home. I was grateful to have a job that allows me to take these kinds of vacations. I was grateful for many more things — Joe and Kathy coming from Vacaville and bring Annie, Jimmy coming with the celebration cake, Don coming up on a Saturday, Cathy and Julianne from Santa Rosa with Sees candy, and Matt for visiting on both ends of the trip.

Most of all, I was grateful for the time with Sabrina and my children. The talks we had while hiking, while driving, while sitting around the cabin. Elisa talking to me about how her relationship with he older siblings has changed over the years, especially with Aidan. Me explaining to her what kinds of challenges teenage boys have. Lydia’s humor and at the same time determination. Sitting at night working on her homework, composing a school video during our hike, finding the laughs is asking my siblings and friends if they ever heard of BoJack houseman. Aidan’s recent obsession with diet and fitness while letting him have a safe space when he gets frustrated (see the Day trip post) and connecting on our common interests. Seeing Aidan fly running around Lake Merrit. Seeing Sabrina and Elisa together.

When I got home, Facebook reminded me of another US family trip back in 2011. A photo of my mom, Aidan, and Lydia at the San Francisco zoo. Walking around the zoo that day, I had no idea my mom would die from cancer a year later. I had no idea what would happen between me and Yang a month after my mom died. We move on, appreciating those moments and grateful the the current ones. There are new vistas, new valleys, new roads to travel, and old roads too linger.