I’ve just finished my traditional take-off nap and have awoken to find myself surrounded by strangers all heading to Beijing for one reason or another. I am heading to Beijing because this is where Yang, Aidan, Lydia, and Elisa live and I can’t wait to see them again after two weeks state side. And Aidan cannot wait to see me because I am packing his new black bionicle. These work trips are always tiring and always intense. It is kind of like a management training class without the training where they take away everything you are comfortable with…everything that grounds you…apply a bit of stress…mix in exhaustion…and a dash of uncertainty. Because of this you are more emotionally open to change or collapse. As far as the management training classes go, I don’t like them much; it feels like a parlor trick. I guess that’s because it is. As far as the work trip goes, I guess that should be more under my own control. So when waiting for the plane I had those familiar thoughts I have at the conclusion of these trips. How I am going to be a better father, how I am not going to work so hard, how I am going to run fast, how I am going to finally learn chinese. And even as I have these thoughts which can get strangely emotional at times and I recognize that I’ve had them before and have yet to accomplish a single one. That when I get back to Beijing I will be too busy and stressed to do any of these things. And that even if I did not have the time constraint or stress constraint then I still might not do these things. That maybe what I really am, when left to my own devices, is a worked out and stressed out animal. I suspect that this is what Yang would say. But I did make a change this trip. In the stressed out jet lag days, I made a good decision to let go of a project that would have stressed me out even further in favor of one I could do in my sleep (don’t tell my boss). In fact, it’s my easiest job (scope wise) in maybe ten years. So I should get to find out if I can learn chinese or spend time with Aidan and teach him baseball, or spend time with Lydia and teach her English, or spend time with Elisa and have her teach me serenity. So, like I said, the exhausted, plus stress, plus taking away everything that comforts you tends to take your mind to a place it would not normally go. You lose you grounding, you try to establish new grounding. Another 10 hours and I will be on the ground in Beijing.