Aidan is lagging behind me and the girls as we make our way to the subway. He didn’t eat this morning which is a rare event. He is zombie like as we buy our three kuai subway tickets make our way to the line 6 platform. While we wait for the train I ask him if everything is ok since clearly it is not. He makes a non-committal and barely verbal noise. I ask him if he’s upset because his mom just left on a snowboarding trip to Japan and he has to stay here in Beijing. He says he doesn’t want to talk about it. I text his mom who just landed on Japan and it seems it is my fault.

According to the mom unit Aidan is upset because I did not approve a snowboarding trip to Italy in in May. Apparently it was my job to approve it versus being a parent. School is in session and he would miss a substantial amount of time. The trip is not cheap. And his sisters would be left out, again. Why Aidan was led to get his hope us, I don’t know. Different styles of parenting, I guess. But what struck me today was not my self-righteousness (which to be fair I have plenty off), but that Aidan was continuing to grow up. His pain wasn’t being expressed in a tantrum but in silence. He was not happy but he was moving along with us. And I knew it would pass as it did later in the day.

A couple of days we were out at dinner. Korean BBQ and Aidan was having his usual cold noodles. A family with a daugher about Aidan’s age sat at the table sitting across from us. I caught Aidan stealing a look at her. Soon he will be more than looking. I’m trying to figure out what the birds and the bees have to do with sams and the sues. If I ask Aidan about girls he doesn’t want to talk about it. Any pretty girls in your class? Silence. Lydia, does Aidan have a girlfriend. Laughter and a threatening staredown for me not to ask her about boys.

We got home after a beautiful morning walk around houhai. Aidan was still in the dumps. I made him some spaghetti for lunch (read: warmed up itailian takeout from two nights ago) and he relaxed a little. We walked to the basketball courts by workers gymnasium and played for an hour. Two games of 21. We both one one game.

Aidan is probably still mad at me for vetoing the Italy trip if that was even the reason he was mad. But he’s able to be mad about that and still be happy at the same time. Towards the same person. This is growing up and makes me proud to be his dad.