After hitting snooze on my cell phone two times, I drag myself out of bed, tired as tired gets. I grab my socks which lie on floor – an effort to ward off mosquitoes – and step into the hallway. I glance in the small room where my wife is sleeping with our two small children. This morning's arrangement – wife on floor, 4 year old next to her, two year old on the top bunk. In the bathroom, I drop my smelly socks into the hamper and grab my electric razor. I hate shaving. I really hate fucking shaving. Shave on Monday, more hair on Tuesday. Got to shave again. What I really don't like about it is it takes a long time, isn't terribly comfortable, and I'm lousy at it. I don't do lousy if I can avoid it. I shower, which I'm told takes as long as an elephant and with similar water sounds. It makes me wonder how an elephant would fit in this shower. And once in, would the elephant face the water trunk first or butt first? I leave the bathroom, step into the hall, still a bit wet. I glance down the stairs in an effort to prevent the ayi from seeing my half naked body but secretly hoping she will. I linger a step longer than needed, then find myself in the bedroom. Flip on CNN, make sure the world is not in danger of collapse. I started this after 9/11. CNN is has it's "world sports" show on, which roughly translates to "sports I don't care a shit about" so I flip to CNBC which is giving an Austrian stock market update. Such are my news choices every morning as I get dressed. I can't find what I want to wear. First, all my pants except one pair are too warm for a Beijing summer. Second, all my pants require a dark shirt and I don't have many of these and of those that I do have, they all have round little stains on them. They look like cum stains, but I'm pretty damn sure it ain't that unless the ayi has been having more fun washing my clothes than she lets on. Clothes settled, I make my way down the stairs, my knees showing the mileage of my running. I slip on my shoes, make my way past the ayi room – quick lateral vision – and out the door. Flag down a taxi, taxi driver says "qu nar?" meaning, "go where?". I tell him zhichun lu, to which he responds "nar?" with a befuddled tone. I repeat. He repeats. I mention the larger area, he laughs, and says "ah, zhichun lu" and drives away. This happens almost every day. I always sit in the back of the cabs because the drivers tend to smell and I'm one of those folks who walks around with a personal space bubble. I get to my office, it's 7:15. I make the long walk to my office, past rows and rows of empty cubicles. No one is around but the ayis who are constantly cleaning. I unlock my office door, skim the 60 emails in my inbox and see who it is I am talking to this morning. I put on my headset, click to call, and we have liftoff.