Mornings

It’s 6:30am and I’m sipping instant coffee starting my morning routine. No, not a gratitude list although I’m sure that would be more rewarding. On my phone, I scan CNN, a habit started since Trump was elected. Then ESPN. Then Instagram. Then Facebook not for the new posts but for the memories section which I linger over. It’s now 6:40am and I open the girls room door a crack and say “Elisa” and she stirs awake. Off to the kitchen I go to wash any dishes while Elisa gets ready. Kobe comes out from his perch and the sound of his nails clicky clacky brings warmth. Elisa pets Kobe, he stretches, and then lies back down. Elisa jacket on, backpack on. I check if she got her snack. “Yes”. We are out the door at 6:55am. Down to the first floor and I open up the Didi app to book a car. Elisa looks at the phone. Car is six minutes away. We sit side by side on a lobby chair until the car is three minutes away and then get up and walk into the 25F morning. Small talk until we get to the gate..does Elisa have PE today? English test? At the gate we wait a minute until our car arrives. The driver says in Chinese the last four digits of my phone numbers as confirmation. I confirm as does Elisa.

On the 10 minute ride sometimes we sit in silence. Sometimes more small talk. The days of buzzfeed quizzes have passed. Many mornings including this one we play the game Dots on my phone taking turns to see who can get the high score. Elisa gleefully destroys me. I’m thinking that next year I won’t have to take Elisa to school since her 7th grade will be right next to my apartment. I’m thinking how that will make my mornings simpler. Shorter commute. Fewer meeting conflicts with headquarters where I need to take a call during the commute, or in a coffee shop, or need to rush back home. Then that thought is dwarfed by another thought. That I’m going to miss these mornings with Elisa. Will miss these memories of just the two of us, spending the most meaningful meaningless time together.

The driver drops us off a half block from the school. The street is bustling with cars, school buses, children, adults. I walk with Elisa towards the gate. Guards stand by which still strikes me as odd. I say “see you tonight” and Elisa says “see ya” and then turns into the school. I keep walking straight. Not in a rush this morning. Past the North Korean embassy. Past our old apartment. Onto the subway and then to work. Grateful for the memories.