On my way to the market

On my way to the market

It is a fall evening and I’m biking to meet my friend Steve and then we are going to meet Tyler at a French grocery store that has a few tables for patrons. About halfway to the meetup point, I stop at a red light and check my phone. Steve has arrived. But not at the location we had agreed on, at a place 20 minutes away from where I thought. I change course and meet him there. We walk together to the place on the map Tyler shared. No French market. We go into the bar that is there instead but after we sit down, I find the market on Google maps. 15-minute walk away. We set off for it.

I’ll tie this narrative to some meta points about advice and career advice. It’s been on my mind since my 10th anniversary at the company four years ago when I wrote down a few things but never ended up with a forum. It’s on my mind when I see the recent wave of random “successful” people posting “the five things I learned on my way to …”.

Here’s my advice about career advice

  • Advice is a form of nostalgia
  • Lessons are your own to learn

And here’s some actual advice

  • Be intentional
  • Focus on the work
  • Work with humility while maintaining ego

I’m not quite happy with how I phrased the last one, so I’ll expound on it a bit and let the others linger. In my field of high tech, ego can be a big problem. The need to be “right”. Emails come in, design documents are sent, and we feel good if we can point out flaws. We feel great if our plans are met with “you’re right” or “that’s smart”. What we really want is great idea, a good path forward, regardless of who thought of it. The best way to get there is to leave your ego at the door and discuss proposals on their own merit. Collaborate, don’t obliterate. But there will be times you need ego to come to your rescue. For me, I’ve had a few project reviews that went horribly sideways. Where after the review, I am sitting under my desk out eating a snickers. Or where after a bad meeting I directly left the office to walk home. 10 miles home. This is where ego comes in. Lifts you up. Reminds you of how far you’ve come and how far you will go. Puts up guardrails so you can get down the road and step on the gas again.

Anyway, Steve and I got to the location of the French market, but it was just a wall in the hutong. A victim of the great bricking of Beijing (2017–2019). We text Tyler and look for another place. Sit down at one, Steve doesn’t like the menu. Sit down at another, this passes the test. As we are about to order, Tyler says he’s at the market. Sends us the location. They’re new location. 15-minute walk away. Neither of us wants to go to the other’s location. We get up and make our way to the market.

The meat and cheese plate were good at least.