I'm running past The Place and then past Silk street and then onto Chang-an Jie. My body feels old, stiff, and heavy. The Beijing night air is much like myself, cold and thick with pollution and while a strong wind may clear the skies for a few days, there is no escaping the return of the soot.

I have an image of myself running like my daughter runs -- free and light and smiling. I try to pick up my pace but there is no pace to pick up, only an ache here and an ache here. I feel only satisfaction in pushing myself but I am unable to get myself to a joyous exhaustion. Where are those days of youth when I could run until there was no more running to be had. Where no one would want to guard me when I played basketball because I would run them to death. I guess I don't know where those days are but I sure know where they aren't.

Two nights prior I am lying in bed and I ask my son to get me some water. He yells down for the Ayi to get it but I ask him to do it himself. He is happy to help me. He returns with a glass and since he's not quite five has a little trouble controlling it and it sloshes a bit on the floor. I then ask him to bring me the bottle of ibuprofen from the table and I take four. On top of the four I took 30 minutes prior and the four more I would take in another 30. I was in a wee bit of pain and it confused my son when he saw me in it -- he didn't know to laugh or be scared. My wife though it would be a good idea if i eat even if I could not get out of bed so she sent up my three year old daughter with a few chinese meat buns. She placed them on the bed next to my hip and there they stayed because I dare not reach for them. Hours passed and the ibuprofen kicked in and sleep came.

She sat at home alone and while she promised she would never call him again she found herself picking up the phone and dialing. Before she got to the seventh digit she hung up, grabbed the car keys and went to the liqueur store. She bought a fifth of jack and a liter of diet coke. She paid in cash. She handed the bottle to a homeless man on the street and drove home with her diet coke. Drove home with her diet coke and the stolen bag of peanut M&Ms. King size.