Rambling Easter

I wake up. Rather I get up for sleep did not come. I get up because I am bored waiting for sleep. And I have to pee. I check my phone. And pee. These are not necessarily distinct events. It is 6:30am. Crap. I thought it was later. When Starbucks would be open.

I sit on the coach and look eastward out my 12 floor window. The view is unbroken for 500 meters or so. There is a 10 story building. On the rooftop I see a man squatting. But it can’t be a man for I saw the same man yesterday at 6:30am.

There is something going on with my work that I find devastating. Its what’s causing me not to sleep and to dream destruction when I do manage. I recognize that I put too much of my personal value into my work. But I do. Sometimes I feel it is the only thing that gets me. It’s always there for me. And when it goes sideways, I go sideways. It would be healthy if I considered it a teachable moment. But I don’t. Even as the lesson is being applied.

Kobe and then Sabrina appear in the living room. It is 7am and we decide to walk to Starbucks together. Sabrina’s motivation is to find new characters in the Chinese version of pokemon go. Kobe’s motivation is to sniff, pee, and poo. Mine is caffeine.

Later we have easter breakfast with the kids, Yang, and Yang’s mom. It is a tradition we’ve maintained along with painting eggs and candy hunting. Yang’s mom is happy, all ghetto taking pictures with her iPad. Aidan, 16, is sleepy from a late night. We talk NBA playoffs. Lydia is taking school notes, dropping in sharp comments, in between drawing on her egg. Elisa is smiling, showing her egg art work and asking about Kobe. Yang and Sabrina chat politely in Chinese. I wonder when the food will come. And when it does I eat it like it was never there.

Tomorrow will be a difficult day at work. But first, sleep, or some such semblance.