I wake up to a jet lagged haze feeling frisky and fat. Both confirmed I exit the bedroom towel wrapped around my waist and walk to the shower. The light in living room is on. Sabrina’s dad is sitting on the couch watching TV at 6am with the sound low. Apparently his hearing is good.
Sabrina’s parents stayed at our apartment while we were in the US since the apartment they’ve been staying at doesn’t have an elevator and getting up the five flights of stairs is tedious for Sabrina’s mom (backstory: Sabrina’s parents come to Beijing during the winter months to visit their daughters and because Beijing has central heating).  As we touched down the night before I had asked Sabrina not to let her dad cook for me as I’m particular about what I eat and I don’t want to have to be polite and eat what he makes. I was feeling particularly in need to control my food after a couple weeks of eating whatever I wanted in US. So of course as soon as we unpacked, Sabrina’s dad served us a full home cook meal. After dinner I went for a walk with Sabrina and she asked if I understood what her dad was talking about during dinner. I said no, that I wasn’t really paying attention. Normally I just zone out when conversation goes on in Chinese. He was trying to speak to me, she said, and was frustrated that I didn’t respond. I had no idea.

A couple days prior I was sitting with my dad as he was smoking a Kools. I could feel my sinuses closing and my eyes balking. I checked facebook and saw picture 132 of my brother Jimmy’s birthday month and mentioned to my dad that it was Jimmy’s birthday. His jaws clenched and he cussed himself for forgetting. He looked around for his phone and then asked me to dial Jimmy on my cell. He smiled as he left a message.

Back in Beijing, the next night I arrived home from work exhausted. I wanted to bake my chicken breasts, watch some TV, and go to sleep. Sabrina’s dad is in full flight in the kitchen making dinner. He asks me in Chinese if I will stay, I say not, that I am going out for dinner since as I stated I didn’t really want him cooking for me. 15 minutes later when I left he had served food on the table, a freshly cooked fish, vegetables, rice, and apparently thought I was staying. I felt like a creep telling him again I was going out to eat. I ate alone in a sushi restaurant and then went for a walk (in case you are wondering, Sabrina doesn’t get home from work until a couple of hours after me).
Sabrina’s mother and father moved back to the other apartment the next day telling Sabrina they didn’t feel comfortable since they could not speak with me. I felt bad about that. I felt good about getting my living room and TV and kitchen back. In any case they could have only stayed a few more days until the kids arrived.
It got me thinking about how helpless and hopeless I am here to communicate. You would think that after 10 years I would be able to speak simple sentences and let people understand me. But I live in my bubble, apps on my phone guiding me and human translators otherwise known as gf and kids. I might as well be on that couch smoking Kools.