So this happened

I got married. We got married. This is not an experience I had expected to have. Again. I married for the usual reasons, love, life partner. The accelerant was a promise I made to Sabrina three years ago. That if I returned to the US, I would not leave her behind. I’m not returning to the US but recently this was a real possibility. It was time to make good on this promise. Besides, we have a dog together.

This story is about the mechanics of getting married in China.

The rules are theoretically simple. Both parties need to prove they are not currently married. Seems reasonable. The marriage license must be issued in the jurisdiction of one of the parties. Seems reasonable. For the proof of being single, Sabrina went to a machine at her office and it printed our her verification. For me, I had to go to the US embassy and obtain an “affidavit of marriageability”. I made the appointment three weeks in advance with the embassy and walked over after dropping Elisa at school. I was anxious like every other time I’ve gone the embassy. They gave me a form to fill out. There was a bit about when the previous marriage ended. It’s been five years, and I thought that seemed like a suitable amount of time. Then the form wanted to know Sabrina’s national id number, her residence, and her domicile. The residence and domicile confused me. Her hukou is tied to her hometown in Hubei province but she lives in Beijing. We need to get the marriage license in the provincial city of Hubei so I wrote “Beijing” for her residence and “Wuhan” for her domicile. The US agent looked at me like I was a child. These things don’t go together, she said. It was like saying you are from San Francisco, Georgia. I need to put in her hometown and province which I had on my phone but my phone my phone wasn’t allowed inside the embassy. So outside the embassy I went, got my phone, called Sabrina to confirm, and then and went to fill out the form. I was still confused by the residence, domicile nomenclature so asked which one I should put the city and which one I should put province. Agent told me they go together. I showed form where they are not together and finally got it right. I then went to another window, raised my right, and swore the information was correct. I was then certified single but only eligible to marry this one person. So much for being a free agent. The affidavit cost $50. I paid in RMB.

The next day we got on a train to Wuhan and arrived around noon. We went straight to the marriage office which breaks until 2pm. This gave us time for lunch and the official marriage photo, not in that order. Part of the marriage license includes the photos which goes into each parties marriage book and is attached to the paperwork. We found a nearby small shop for the photos. I sat on a book to make me look taller.

The front door to the marriage office was double locked, we had to enter though the back door. The marriage office is on the 5th floor, the same floor as the disaster preparation office. You can’t make this up.

We were the first couple to arrive and took a number from the machine. Somehow five numbers where in front of it. The clerk called out each one to get to our number. Apparently the others had left. We sat down. She checked our paperwork. There was some problem with Sabrina’s hukou from long ago — her hometown had changed when she was a child and instead of issuing a new family hukou they just added another stamp. The clerk gave us forms to fill out. Other couples started to arrive.

According to the US embassy FAQ I would need my marriage eligibility affidavit and my original divorce decree translated into Chinese in order to be married. We were expecting to do this at nearby Wuhan University after completing the forms. But this wasn’t needed. The clerk had us sit for a bit and then we saw the marriage books come out. The clerk smiled and said “congratulations” in English.

Another woman came around with our marriage books. I figured she was there to collect the money. Wrong, there would be no direct fees on this day. She took us into an adjoining hall which was set up for a marriage ceremony. One might say it was tacky. Sabrina and I walked up a short aisle while music came out of speakers. Turned, faced each other. Sabrina teared up as she said “I do”. We said vows, in English. We kissed. And we were one. With two books.

We checked into our hotel, room on the 25th floor overlooking other 25th floors, and ordered food delivered.