I had the idea that when Aidan came home on his 13th birthday we would do the normal birthday party thing and after he cut the cake and made his wish we’d give him his present. No, not that. The present was a week long snowboarding trip in Japan which he’s been dying to do. And, by the way, we’d tell him you are leaving for the airport right now.

But some compromises had to be made. First, I would not be going on the snowboard trip with him and his mom which meant his sisters would not be able to go either. I would not be able to go on the trip, well, because Beijing is damn cold in Winter and if I’m taking a trip it will be to some place warm. And, well, because we are not a family in a nuclear sense and I don’t want to keep vacationing together as if we were. So I decided to take the girls to some place warm which turned out to be Phuket.

The second compromise we had to hold the birthday party four days early. Aidan is on Winter break until the end of the month, the girls need to be back to school two days after his birthday. So timing wise we need to move up the event.

The surprise party day came and I left work a bit early to light the candles on Aidan’s cake just as he walked in the door with his mom. He totally wasn’t expecting a surprise party four days prior to his birthday. After he made his wish and cut the cake I asked him if he noticed there were no gifts. He laughed in his “this is not funny” laugh. I said when people get older it is hard to buy gifts for them because they already have everything they want. And that Aidan had reached this at the age of 13. Another “laugh”. So what people do, I say, is they give gifts of experience. He starts to look quizzical. For you Aidan, this is a snowboard trip to Japan. Beat. Beat. Bedlam.

The girls also did not know they were leaving on a trip and while Aidan’s was a few days away I took the girls the next morning to Phuket. 12 hours later Lydia was having her pineapple rice and saying how fun Thailand is (poor girls, it’s their third trip here).

And as we get ready to turn in for the night I’m left thinking that yes, it’s a compromise. Or 20. But it’s alright. Beat. Beat.