I am really bad with gifts but with a small epiphany I realized Aidan's birthday gift this year would be drop dead easy. A Warrior's Curry jersey or an official American football. With two trips to the US between this epiphany and Aidan's birthday I would come through this time. Which is how, I found myself, on the eve of Chinese New Year's and three days before his before his birthday biking to the official NBA store in Beijing. Except the store wasn't there; it had moved some distance away. I managed to get to the new location the next day and they had a handful, like six, pathetic jerseys including Shawn Kemp's Seattle Sonic's jersey (Kemp last played for Seattle in 1997), Dennis Rodman Bull's jersey, and Derrick's Rose 2015 All Star jersey (Rose was not part of the game). The store, while looking promising on the outside, looked like a fraud on the inside. I ended up buying Aidan a Warrior's hipster hat which was one of two Warrior's items they carried (for what it's worth, the nearby MLB store is almost as worthless for Giant's fans). On the day of Aidan's birthday, I took Aidan to the massive Adidas store (largest in the world?) in Beijing's Sanlitun area. The NBA section was on the first floor and they had a full rack of jerseys and from a distance you could see a couple of Warrior jerseys. Walk up. Curry, #30. Excellent. Size 2XL which despite my recent adornment of winter fat is way too big for me, not to mention Aidan. We ask if they have any smaller sizes. "No, none". Ok, when do you expect to get a new order? "Never." Really, never? For maybe the most popular player and you already sold out the sizes that normal humans wear? "Yes, we are never getting another shipment". Which, if you've been in China for like a week you understand translates to "I don't know and it's too much bother to find out, so go away". I glared at the staff and Lydia gently asked me to calm down. We are good with each other like that.

So why do I mention this outside of complimenting my own incompetence. I mention it because at 12, Aidan's feelings are becoming more complex in an adult sense (young kids, I believe, have complex feelings but are often dismissed because adults see them as simple). He really wanted that Curry jersey and he really wanted a lot of attention on his birthday. Attention that is demonstrated with the reception of gifts and a party. I don't think he much cares about the content of the gifts as much as receiving the gifts and I don't think he cares about the structure of the party as long as he was the center. When the party kicked off and he realized it was limited to his siblings, mom, and grandma with no big gift barrage he went into a little bit of a funk. Didn't complain. Didn't whine. At least not in English. But I could tell he wanted more. Did I feel sorry for him? No, I felt proud of him. He's maturing and some of that comes with a sense of missing out.

I remember the same feelings at my birthdays from that year onwards (yes, I may be projecting). It's not the selfishness of a child, it's something more human on the adult scale.

After a pizza dinner, we retreated to my apartment for some ice cream cake which we had to first buy. Aidan and I left the rest of the family at the apartment and went across the street to the mall to buy the cake at a Dairy Queen. As soon as we alone and moving walking toward the mall his mood lifted . There was a little suspense on whether the cake would still be there – we had seen it yesterday and when we asked to reserve it was told that was impossible (see above). The suspense added to the excitement and when we turned the corner into Dairy Queen and saw the cake, we were both practically giddy. Which, if you know me, means I cracked a smile. Aidan proudly carried the cake home.

Aidan made a wish (a serious looking one) and blew out the candles while be serenaded to spotify's happy birthday and family singing happy birthday. He made the first slice and while he was having his first slice I brought him his gift.

He wore it the next two days.