I think being connected is the key to peace. Connected with a friend or two.
Connected with a lover or two.
Connected with a wife, or two.
Connected with a city.
Connected with a movement.
Connected with the environment.
Connected with yourself.
Connected with your kids.
Connected with your work. Feeling connected isn't the same as being connected. At times I feel connected. And briefly I will feel at peace. For some, this is as good as good is. Some of us our broken, unable to connect in a sustained way. Unable to connect to anything that matters. We connect to books, movies, a piece of music. We connect to a tear. We connect to these transitory things just to feel connected. Some of us make many personal connections just to feel connected ourselves. Some of us make no personal connections; the fear of not being connected is too great. But feeling connected isn't being connected. The other night I had a dream that made me feel connected. I have these dreams a half dozen or so times a year and I always wake up with a warm feeling. These connected dreams all center on a woman ¨C no not that wet dream kind of thing. It's more about feeling. The other night I dreamt of her, she hadn't been in my mind in that obsessive way in a while but I was having an intense conversation with a friend of hers in real life, so I guess it's no surprise she showed up in my dreams that night. The dream itself was simple enough, as these dreams go. We were at a conference of some sort and ran into each other. It was not unexpected or a surprise. It just fit. We went to her hotel room where I knew two of her male friends had spent the night. I was relieved to see two sets of sofa beds appearing slept in. Made me think she didn't have sex with them. Then somehow we ended up connecting, in a physical and mental sense, but not sexual. Oh, heck, there was a sexual element, but it was a secondary element. It was something else. We lingered. We whispered nice things. We acknowledged the moment and savored it. It was connection. I woke up feeling connected. But not actually connected.