Aidan wakes me up at 6:15am and I am a bit groggy but not as groggy as some mornings. He wants to read me his English homework.

Good morning class. Today I want to tell you about father. He is my father. His name is Vince Allio. He is a writer. He writes books. He goes to work by taxi. My father is tall and strong. He has short hair. He can play football and basketball. I love my father. Thank you.

At least he got the short hair right.

Giving feedback to others and and receiving feedback about yourself is a tricky game. For sure there are more people willing to give feedback to satisfy their egos (a bit feedback there, eh?) than are willing to listen and assimilate feedback from others. At my last job the company’s culture on feedback bordered on a religion which is to say it was sometimes inane with the the ego comment above doubly applying. “Feedback is a gift” they would say to which I’d reply I only accept cash. More than once someone sat down in my office to give me feedback, some objective observations they made so that I might find helpful. Which amounted to ripping me a new one with a smile on their face. Which was always interesting because the topic was either about my behavior (should smile more, etc) which doesn’t change because someone wishes it so, or about how to do my job (more detailed specifications, clearer presentations, etc) of which they knew little or nothing about. (To be fair, I have difficulty with both criticism and praise.  The best way to reach me is to let me draw the conclusion myself with a subtle hint or two. If you are really good I won’t realize the hint at all.)

So how does this all tie to Aidan’s English homework? A couple of weeks back we went to Aidan’s school for a parent/teacher conference. We met with Aidan’s main teacher for five minutes and his English teacher for five minutes. They were complimentary to Aidan, said he was active in class always eager to answer questions. The main teacher said he could sometimes be over eager and he should make sure he actually could answer the question before raising his hand. I decided to let that one go. The English teacher said his spoken English was really good and that he needed to be more careful with his writing.

The day after the parent/teacher conference I interrupted Aidan from his game play and told him his teachers said he was a very good student. He was happy right away. I explained that his class participation was good, his manners were good, his spoken English was good. I mentioned that his writing could be a bit neater and to make sure to space out his words better. It was a similar comment that I made to him maybe 20 times while helping him with his homework this semester. But this time, with the praise mixed in from the teacher it stuck. His writing has been consistently more legible, here’s the words he used to introduce me.