It’s the Saturday after Thanksgiving and I’m walking around Ritan Park. I do this loop on most days while Amanda is napping at home. Some days I feel old and it’s an effort. Some days I feel blah and it’s a bore. Some days I feel spry and it’s a breeze. Today is a spry day. I am thankful. I am reminded of my Mom and when she got into hiking and how fast she walked. I’m walking fast on this day. A jogger zips by. ...
The text message lands in the parent’s wechat group - the students have arrived at the train station and are expected at school by 7pm. This starts the countdown to when I need to pick up Elisa but I don’t really need a countdown as I’ve been thinking about it all day. I’ve been thinking about it all day, well, because I have nothing else to do. That and the PTSD from last year’s culture trip pickup. ...
On a July day 20 years ago I didn’t have much going on being I had not started working in Beijing yet. Yang had auditioned Aidan for a TV commercial and he got the part so on that day in the outskirts of Beijing, Aidan went to work. The first of us to work in Beijing. (Aidan at a commercial shoot in 2005) Today, being either retired or unemployed I didn’t have much going on and Sabrina arranged for Amanda to film a commercial. Amanda is about the same age Aidan was then. ...
On a Thursday morning and with a surprising lack of planning, we loaded up the car and headed out for a 13 day road trip. I had done some research in the form of asking DeepSeek for an itinerary centering around Qinghai Lake. I then checked reddit and found comments about restrictions for foreigners and a local recommending we stay away. Spooked, the night before we were to take off, I suggested to Sabrina that we scale back the road trip and focus on an Inner Mongolia loop. “Why?”, she asked. ...
It’s 7:45am and I’ve just left my apartment to pick up Yang and Aidan to take them to the airport. I live in a business section of town and even though it’s a weekday the road is mostly deserted. I turn right to cross Chaoyangmen Wai Da Jie (Chao Yang Gate Outer Big Street). and I see a young police officer and traffic cones. He says something to me that I don’t understand. I make a u-turn gesture and he says “ok, no problem.” I drive east to the next street that crosses and it’s also blocked. As is the next street east. There is no way to get across Chaoyangmen Wai Da Jie. A slight panic, maybe I can’t get there and Yang will need to call a Didi. Then it hits me, the second ring side road to the west goes under Chaoyangmen Wai Da Jie. I head there and find an almost empty safe passage. ...
Does anyone really know me? Do I really know anyone? This late teenager existential thought is circling in my head at 59 and during my five day road trip with Aidan. Aidan kicked off this thought contagion a few weeks ago by asking me “what exactly do you do at work”. My answer, swinging between being overly specific and being overly reductive, was wholly unsatisfactory. Would I find a better answer on the road trip? ...
Like a dove in each hand, the first week of August holds the birthday’s for my oldest daughters, Lydia and Elisa. Lydia turned 21 this year and Elisa turned 17. I am proud of them and love them more than any father deserves. Today, we played backgammon. They had never heard of the game before I gave it to Elisa for her birthday. Instead of taking turns playing against me or each other, they decided to collaborate against me. Even though they just learned the rules, they crushed me. Must be the luck of the dice. Except they also crush me with the NYTimes connections, wordle, and mini crossword. It’s fun watching them collaborate; it’s as true of a collaboration as I’ve seen. Sometimes Lydia takes charge, sometimes Elisa has an insight, sometimes they just spin looking for the solution. I’ve always wanted to be collaborative, but in fact I’m not. At work, I used to joke that “let’s collaborate” means “do what I say”. ...
The parking lot is full so I drive around the block looking for a spot. More like a neighborhood since the block is home to the massive Russian embassy. I see a spot only to have another EV swoop in and take it. No worries, I grab the last free spot 100 meters in front. I leave Kobe, Amanda, and Sabrina in the car - with AC running. Kobe sitting upright in the front passenger seat. I’d like to have them with me on this day, this moment, but can’t because of Kobe so I solo my way. Solo my way to the Entry/Exit Bureau. ...
It’s 2am and Sabrina is trying to locate the medicine. Amanda has a fever. First reading was 40c, then 38.8c. I don’t know celsius ranges very well. Sabrina tells me Amanda is burning up. I roll over and then sit up. Sabrina finds the baby tylenol but it has expired. Then something in Chinese packaging - I think it’s baby motrin. Eventually, we all fall back to sleep. Amanda wakes up Thursday morning and the fever returns. We think maybe we should go see the doctor, or maybe not since the fever drops again after medicine. We wonder if the swimming lesson Amanda did in the cold gym swimming pool could be the cause. I wonder if the sickness I felt on Monday and Tuesday could be it. Whatever it is, I expect it to pass. So far, Amanda has hardly been sick in her 26 months. On Friday, we plan to travel to Tianjin where Amanda will participate in a baby/kid show. ...
Amanda is in the toy store playing with the Peppa Pig cuckoo clock. Trying to open the latch at the top. I let her play for a few minutes and then say “let’s go” since I’m worried about having to buy something. She turns and walks towards the playground which is in the space next door. She then stops, sits on the floor, and cries. I try to pick her up, but she goes limp. She’s dug in. ...