It is a lazy, hot, August afternoon and I ask the girls if they want to go for a bike ride to Jenny Lou’s. I need to buy some food for my latest daily diet experiment and I need to get the girls out of the house. Two birds, one stone. One stone, two birds. Aidan is attending the last day of the summer snowboarding camp in the outskirts of Beijing so for the fourth weekend in a row it is just the girls and I. ...

Lydia turned 11 yesterday. I arrived at the party not the last and not the first. Lydia was in her bedroom, playing with her iPad and she came out and greeted me with a hug. This caused Elisa to come off the coach and follow suit. Some of Yang’s old Beijing friends were there. None of her new ones were. Yang invited her old friends since they have kids and it would make for more of a party; she is good at that. As the other friends arrived, I walked the 10 minutes to Baskin Robbins to pick up Lydia’s birthday cake. Ice Cream cakes are a tradition. A light sprinkle joined me for the walk home. ...

I get home from work, turn, lock the door and put my bag down. I should really pack for tomorrow and then do something “fun” or “productive” since that is what that little fucking voice in my mind is telling me I should do. But I sit on the couch instead. And I turn on the tv not to watch tv but to watch netflix and youtube. I watch for a bit and then I don’t want to make the time commitment to another episode of OITNB no matter how good it will be. ...

I rush out of the office and head to the subway. It is Friday night in Beijing and in an hour the party will begin. I listen to music and podcasts and think I should walk the length of the train to increase my daily step count. Except there is no space to move. There is barely space for me amongst the distractions. I unlock the door. I’m home. “Hello babi” comes Elisa’s still little girl voice. “Hi there” comes Lydia’s maturing voice. Somehow I ended up with lock key kids, at least for the 30 minutes when the ayi leaves and I get home. They don’t seem to mind. I do a bit and I compromise a bit. ...

On July 4th, the weather forecast showed a zero chance for rain as I headed out with the kids. Lydia was having me answer a series of questions starting with “How many steps does it take to put an elephant in the refrigerator (three) and ending with “How many steps does it take to put the elephant in the refrigerator with the kangaroo (I won’t spoil it for you). Elisa and Aidan were chatting excitedly as I asked Aidan’s help as booked a car via Uber. ...

It is the last Sunday in June. The weather is hot and humid and smoggy. It is not yet as hot and humid and smoggy as it will be in a couple of weeks but it is bad enough that there is little motivation to venture outside. Outside of the air conditioning. I tell the kids to take a break from their iPads and they all comply. They are remarkably easy this way. 10 minutes later, however, they are bored to death. I take out a pad of actual paper and ask Elisa if she wants to play tic-tac-toe. A joyous “yes”. ...

Lydia is in a post nap funk and is mad at Aidan for being Aidan while we wait for the elevator. Aidan is annoyed at Lydia for being mad at him. “I didn’t do anything”, he says. Lydia said, “yes, he did, he’s always talking.” On the ride down from the 8th floor I tell Aidan that you need to notice when someone is not in a good mood and give them some space. I tell Lydia that she needs to notice when she’s not in a good mood and pull back on some of her frustrations. It seems to have no effect. ...

Move to the old house Wendy was 12,she’s poor.She lives with her mom Pandora and they lived in a small house,the house was small as your bathroom! One day,Pandora ask Wendy,“Oh Wendy,will you likes to live in a big house for 3or4 weeks?” “Yes"answer Wendy.“Then that’s great!Pack your things you’r going to move to an old house!“said Pandora.When Wendy was wondering what is happening,her mom has already pack her things—some old clothes and some other things. ...

While we are waiting for the elevator Aidan and Lydia are teasing each other and Elisa moves in and out of their dynamic. Eight floors down and out the door into the street. Downtown Beijing we are, except there isn’t really a such thing as downtown Beijing so my crowded neighborhood is one of a dozen that can lay claim. Elisa bounds ahead doing a kind of skip walk. Aidan, football in hands runs ahead and Lydia stands at my side telling me a story she is writing. Aidan gets 15 yards in front, turns and throws me the football. My body turns towards it slowly and without grace. I grab the ball and throw it back to him. He catches it, runs a bit, and we repeat. As we get close to the busy intersection - one scattered with carts, bicycles, scooters, taxis, cars, buses, and people - I yell out “Elisa, wait!” and she stops and yells back “I know”. ...

Aidan is lagging behind me and the girls as we make our way to the subway. He didn’t eat this morning which is a rare event. He is zombie like as we buy our three kuai subway tickets make our way to the line 6 platform. While we wait for the train I ask him if everything is ok since clearly it is not. He makes a non-committal and barely verbal noise. I ask him if he’s upset because his mom just left on a snowboarding trip to Japan and he has to stay here in Beijing. He says he doesn’t want to talk about it. I text his mom who just landed on Japan and it seems it is my fault. ...