Like a dove in each hand, the first week of August holds the birthday’s for my oldest daughters, Lydia and Elisa. Lydia turned 21 this year and Elisa turned 17. I am proud of them and love them more than any father deserves.
Today, we played backgammon. They had never heard of the game before I gave it to Elisa for her birthday. Instead of taking turns playing against me or each other, they decided to collaborate against me. Even though they just learned the rules, they crushed me. Must be the luck of the dice. Except they also crush me with the NYTimes connections, wordle, and mini crossword. It’s fun watching them collaborate; it’s as true of a collaboration as I’ve seen. Sometimes Lydia takes charge, sometimes Elisa has an insight, sometimes they just spin looking for the solution. I’ve always wanted to be collaborative, but in fact I’m not. At work, I used to joke that “let’s collaborate” means “do what I say”.
At 17, Elisa has the highest EQ and maybe IQ in the family. One shared grievance we all have is their grandmother’s constant nagging and worrying. Yang, Lydia, Aidan, and I all get annoyed by it and have been known to lose our temper. Elisa just plays back the nag, subtly changing the focus that puts her grandmother at ease. “Put on more clothes, it’s cold!” becomes, “I feel a little bit cold, do you think it will be colder later?”
At 21, Lydia is whip smart with a sharp wit. She gets and has my sense of humor which takes part from my Dad and other people I know. We’ve been watching “The Boys” TV show together and both laugh/smirk on the same beats. She’s attracted to the actor who plays Soldier Boy which has been enjoyable since the character is such a douche.
I’m grateful to be their father and it’s not lost on me how lucky I am that Lydia can come home for the summer and Elisa could make a Japan trip with Yang for her birthday.
A year from now, Elisa will be getting ready to depart for college and I will have to open my hands and let her go.