The van drops us off at the wharf. I step out and try to orient myself. I see Yang at the luggage drop and then we enter a small room. A small room with about 50 folding chairs, most of them occupied. Being one of the last groups to arrive, the tour instructions start promptly. That’s when I notice the entire group is Chinese, except for me. Even in Thailand, I am the laowai.
Instructions are given in Mandarin and land some solid laughs. I understand some of it but give up listening after a few sentences for the safe enclave of my head. Sabrina tries to tell me the key points but I demure her off, still wanting to play mental roulette. Plus, I know the drill. On the van ride over, I counted that this was my sixth time in Phuket. In 2006, I came with Yang on a kids free holiday. We came another time with the kids, maybe in 2010. In 2013 with just myself as a kind of “I’m now single” trip (although it was mostly an “I am alone trip”). In 2014 when I went to Chiang Mai and met up with Yang and the kids in Phuket for a couple of days. In 2016 with just Elisa and Lydia since Aidan had blown out his knee wakeboarding. On five of these trips plus one to Ko Samui, we had done the all day tour thing. The typical tour on paper is alluring and today was no exception. A luxury boat ride to two islands, snorkeling, beach time, canoeing, meals, drinks.
The reality found me dealing with seasickness for the ninety minutes it took to get to the first island. It didn’t help that next to me, a chubby middle aged man in tight nylon was puking into a garbage bin. When we arrived at the island, I felt a sense of relief. Solid land. As people queued to get off the boat, they slipped on their sandals. For some reason, I only had sneakers and when it came my turn I just grabbed them in my hands vs slowing down the line by putting them on. Then came a pull/push of the attendant to get me off the boat and onto the pier. Except it wasn’t really a pier. It was a floating plastic pontoon which led the way to shore. The thing about a floating pontoon that I learned immediately, is it moves with the waves and there were a lot of waves; some amplified by passing boats. Sabrina walked in front of me, holding Amanda, which saved her from seeing me walking like a hunched duck, shoes in hand. Yang saw how unsteady I was and asked Elisa to help. She saddled up to my left side like it was nothing and I welcomed her interlocking arm. We felt the pontoon lift and fall, me barely keeping my balance. The wave would then strike Sabrina who would shriek while holding Amanda in her arms. The pattern repeated for the 200 yards or so it took us to get to shore. I asked Elisa, “What is that show called - the day I turned pretty?” and she corrected me. I said, “Well this is the summer I turned old.”
When we booked the trip six weeks ago, I didn’t feel that old. I felt I was slowing down, but was mostly still very active. Then I had that dizzy spell and subsequent medicines. I’m not sure if it’s the medicines (likely) or the effects of the dizzy spell, but I’ve been feeling like I turned old all of a sudden. On our first full day in Phuket, we had lunch in Patong and explored the area. By the time we got to the beach, fatigue set in and I just sat on the curb while the rest of the troop carried on. This would happen a few times a day, when I’d just need to stop and if possible lie down. Then it would pass and I’d mostly be fine. Fine except for a kind of lightheadedness and a fair amount of impatience.
After navigating the pontoon pier, we had about an hour on the island. I took Amanda to the beach and let her into the shallow bits. Then I rested, and tried to mentally prepare for the walk back to the boat. It turned out the walk back was easier for a few reasons. First, I had my shoes on. Second, you could see the waves coming. Third, I saw two young women struggling worse than me to the point they needed assistance. I am not above taking solace in others’ defeats.
Lunch was served on the boat, which for me meant I didn’t eat. I wasn’t hungry (seasickness) and was worried about balancing a plate. For the 90 minutes to the next island, I stayed on the top deck of the boat which despite the swells of the open ocean made the ride a lot more tolerable. If only I could get comfortable as Amanda did.
Our hotel for the first four nights at a four star, working on becoming a three star. In other words, its location was excellent, the facilities aging, the staff warm but lacking a certain level of service (“can we get towel service?” practically became a mantra). Amanda loved the pool and kept wanting to go in.
On the way to the second island, I thought about the similar tours we’ve been on. That there was a mix of nationalities on those tours and even if the interactions were trivial they still kind of meant something. This tour, being all Chinese, was in some ways more convenient but also lost something. Something I value even if I can’t describe it clearly. It’s more than just diversity. It’s about going to a foreign place and feeling foreign. Thailand relatively recently allowed visa free entry for Chinese travelers and there were reports of Chinese tourists overrunning the place. I did not quite find that to be true. It was easier to pay for things with Alipay than Visa and Mandarin was spoken as much as English.
A highlight of the trip was Elisa’s 18th birthday. She had already had two Beijing celebrations with friends and this would be the formal one with family. Yang booked a restaurant in the hills with a sunset view. I got Elisa a 49er No. 18 jersey with her name on the back. After dinner, I took Elisa to a rooftop bar near the beach for a mocktail. Not drinking was another sign that I turned old. We walked past the clubs to the beach for the 30 minute trek back to the hotel. I wanted to hug Elisa and tell her how much I love her. Instead, I wrote her a letter.
The boat anchored in the harbor on the second island. It was optional to go onto the island or not, I decided that after 90 minutes of travel, I’d go on the island. Sabrina opted to stay with Amanda on the boat. After 10 minutes on the island, I texted Sabrina that she made the right call. We took a small wooden boat to and from the island. My athletic move of the day was stepping onto and off of the small boat.
When we got back to the main boat, Amanda was in the water with one of the guides. Sabrina, who doesn’t really swim, was looking on and excitedly pointed out Amanda to me. I was feeling a wave of fatigue and went to the top deck and lay down. Elisa came up to the top deck, life preserver in hand and slid down a slide to join Amanda in the water. Photos soon arrived on my phone and the entire trip was worth it when I saw Elisa and Amanda kayaking together.
We then headed back towards the pier, another 90 minute ride. As we got close, the boat stopped so those who wanted to fish could fish. I thought the fishing was added specifically for the Chinese tour group. I also thought I wanted to be done.
After the tour, we transitioned from the hotel to an Airbnb type place that Yang had booked for our final two nights. It was beyond my expectations - four bedrooms, two stories, modern, private pool. I was beyond exhausted by the time we arrived but needed to step up and take Amanda into the pool. She loved it and I crashed afterwards. I thought about the time I had considered moving to Thailand, Chiang Mai specifically, and how appealing a nice apartment in a tropical environment would be. That time has passed.
The next morning we received text messages that our return flight via Shanghai was canceled due to Typhoon Dolphin. Yang was working on rebooking but nothing was settled when we walked to the fish market for dinner. The fish market is touristy but feels local, so it’s almost perfect. There is a long (cement) pier we walked along before settling on a beach facing restaurant. Food is cheap and good compared with what we can get in Beijing; I’m sure so-so and expensive compared to what locals can get.
On the way back to the Airbnb, we stopped at a pharmacy to get some disinfectant for a small cut Elisa had. While Yang discussed options with the middle aged woman pharmacist, Amanda picked up a boxed thermometer from the shelf. It had a panda on it. She then put it down and picked up the one with a monkey. As Yang was paying, the pharmacist started lecturing us to control our kid. The lecture was stern and referred to “you people coming to our country and not respecting it”. Sabrina didn’t quite understand what was going on but thought it was a good idea to apologize. My body fully tensed up and I said “thank you for your generosity” to which she doubled down on visitors coming here “talking shit”. I was in full rage mode, so I shut myself down. I almost asked her where she was from, since I’m pretty sure she wasn’t Thai. All I managed was to wipe my nose with a tissue at which I could see she wanted to explode again. But she said nothing, I said nothing, and we left. It took me half the walk home to stop shaking and then explaining to Sabrina that Amanda was doing nothing wrong, that I wanted her to explore. That as a child I was scolded or worse for showing that kind of curiosity. Even as I type this, my hands are shaking. I wish I had been able to control my emotions and show more curiosity myself by asking what was so offensive about a child lightly touching merchandise.
It’s mid evening, meaning I’m about to go to bed. I’m sitting on the living room couch, reading a most excellent Matthew Scudder novel by Lawrence Block when I hear Aidan and Dillon bound down the stairs (Dillon is a friend of Aidan who joined us on the trip). Aidan and Dillon hit the pool. My reading is interrupted by their talk and laughter. I don’t mind at all. I put my Kindle down and let Aidan’s laughter wash over me. I think for a moment that I should remind them of the 10pm community quiet hours but that thought is no competition for the joy. Yang sits poolside with them, playing music.
The next day we took Amanda to a kids play area. The kind that has an outside jungle gym, an indoor playground, and a small waterpark. I was perfect for a three year old. Would be sus for a four year old and boring for a five year old. Amanda was exploring in the water and out of it.
Nine days after we arrived, we boarded a VietJet plane connecting via Ho Chi Minh City back to Beijing. The flight landed in Beijing at midnight. As we walked to immigration, I could not find Amanda’s travel document. Searching all our bags did not yield it. Immigration sent us over to border control, which eventually issued a new one time entry permit for Amanda. The whole process took about an hour and I must say everyone we dealt with in immigration was courteous and professional.
I don’t know if I would do this trip again feeling as physically and mentally waxed as I did. But, I think I would. I would go again to experience Amanda’s curiosity, celebrate Elisa’s caring, and hear Aidan’s laugh.