Happy 18th Birthday Lydia. I am proud to be your father. I love you.
This is the letter where I share with you insights about being an adult which is another way of saying expectations. I wish I had some magic wisdom about what it means to be a grown up. Not sure I do. Not sure anyone does. Sometimes I think there is no such thing as being a grown up. We just age.
How’s that for a set up?
I wrote Aidan such a letter when he turned 18. I may be repeating some of the advice..uh..insights..uh..expectations I gave him. Here we go:
Be close to your family: Your family is your center, your grounding, your reflection. Your family is always there for you. Be there for them. When I’ve been disconnected from family for whatever reason, I’ve been lost. So stay in touch and stay open to your immediate family - your mom, your brother, your sister, and me. And as adults we are not limited to traditional nuclear families; you can use whatever definition of family you like. Just stay connected to them. Don’t drift. Stay connected. Make time to listen and be heard. Do things in the physical world together.
Create: You are a creative. Embrace it. Be creative in everything you do. It can be your art, how you dress, how you decorate, how you live. Make time for it, especially when you have not time. Let that side of your brain flourish for what you have is a gift.
Have a craft: If you are lucky what you do and what you create will overlap. Maybe you will be that lucky, maybe not. For me, my craft - especially in the early years - was creative. Sure, I got paid to do specific technical tasks but in the details of the work where I practiced my craft I was free. I Made things that never existed in my own unique style. I hope you are as lucky.
Believe in magic: Ok, this is probably a repeat of what I wrote to Aidan but I think it’s really important. Its a cynical world and us Allios have a cynical bent but work to stay naive. Appreciate sunsets, friendly dogs, ferrets. Follow feelings that move you, see the good in others.
I closing, I’ll quote a title of a book: “Don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff”