Family

It’s 7:45am and I’ve just left my apartment to pick up Yang and Aidan to take them to the airport. I live in a business section of town and even though it’s a weekday the road is mostly deserted. I turn right to cross Chaoyangmen Wai Da Jie (Chao Yang Gate Outer Big Street). and I see a young police officer and traffic cones. He says something to me that I don’t understand. I make a u-turn gesture and he says “ok, no problem.” I drive east to the next street that crosses and it’s also blocked. As is the next street east. There is no way to get across Chaoyangmen Wai Da Jie. A slight panic, maybe I can’t get there and Yang will need to call a Didi. Then it hits me, the second ring side road to the west goes under Chaoyangmen Wai Da Jie. I head there and find an almost empty safe passage. ...

Does anyone really know me? Do I really know anyone? This late teenager existential thought is circling in my head at 59 and during my five day road trip with Aidan. Aidan kicked off this thought contagion a few weeks ago by asking me “what exactly do you do at work”. My answer, swinging between being overly specific and being overly reductive, was wholly unsatisfactory. Would I find a better answer on the road trip? ...

Like a dove in each hand, the first week of August holds the birthday’s for my oldest daughters, Lydia and Elisa. Lydia turned 21 this year and Elisa turned 17. I am proud of them and love them more than any father deserves. Today, we played backgammon. They had never heard of the game before I gave it to Elisa for her birthday. Instead of taking turns playing against me or each other, they decided to collaborate against me. Even though they just learned the rules, they crushed me. Must be the luck of the dice. Except they also crush me with the NYTimes connections, wordle, and mini crossword. It’s fun watching them collaborate; it’s as true of a collaboration as I’ve seen. Sometimes Lydia takes charge, sometimes Elisa has an insight, sometimes they just spin looking for the solution. I’ve always wanted to be collaborative, but in fact I’m not. At work, I used to joke that “let’s collaborate” means “do what I say”. ...

The parking lot is full so I drive around the block looking for a spot. More like a neighborhood since the block is home to the massive Russian embassy. I see a spot only to have another EV swoop in and take it. No worries, I grab the last free spot 100 meters in front. I leave Kobe, Amanda, and Sabrina in the car - with AC running. Kobe sitting upright in the front passenger seat. I’d like to have them with me on this day, this moment, but can’t because of Kobe so I solo my way. Solo my way to the Entry/Exit Bureau. ...

It’s 2am and Sabrina is trying to locate the medicine. Amanda has a fever. First reading was 40c, then 38.8c. I don’t know celsius ranges very well. Sabrina tells me Amanda is burning up. I roll over and then sit up. Sabrina finds the baby tylenol but it has expired. Then something in Chinese packaging - I think it’s baby motrin. Eventually, we all fall back to sleep. Amanda wakes up Thursday morning and the fever returns. We think maybe we should go see the doctor, or maybe not since the fever drops again after medicine. We wonder if the swimming lesson Amanda did in the cold gym swimming pool could be the cause. I wonder if the sickness I felt on Monday and Tuesday could be it. Whatever it is, I expect it to pass. So far, Amanda has hardly been sick in her 26 months. On Friday, we plan to travel to Tianjin where Amanda will participate in a baby/kid show. ...

Amanda is in the toy store playing with the Peppa Pig cuckoo clock. Trying to open the latch at the top. I let her play for a few minutes and then say “let’s go” since I’m worried about having to buy something. She turns and walks towards the playground which is in the space next door. She then stops, sits on the floor, and cries. I try to pick her up, but she goes limp. She’s dug in. ...

It’s 9pm, PAW Patrol is on the TV. Sabrina is on her phone, I’m on my iPad. Amanda is on the floor, moving from place to place. I can tell she is tired so I say “sleepy walk” and she spins and walks briskly wobbly to her stroller. I put her in the stroller, put my airpods in, and we are out the door. Down the hallway, down the elevator, and onto the street. I push her along and she’s “out” within five minutes. We walk some more to finish the loop and then back up to our loft. I carry Amanda up the stairs and lie her down in the crib next to Sabrina. Amanda sleeps through the night. ...

I’m sitting in a conference room in Topeka, Kansas. Next to me is Mimi. Across the table are two doctors and an intake coordinator. The younger of the two doctors is explaining the program to Mimi. She’s not pleased. The doctor is leading up to his big reveal - he’s researching a hypothesis that a childhood strep infection can lead to anorexia (link). Once the big theory is exposed, Mimi, frustrated, asks for the senior doctor to say something. ...

I’ve been driving since I was 16 and have never been involved in a road accident. Never been involved until today. Twenty of these driving years, including today, have been in Beijing. Driving in Beijing in some ways is much, much easier than it was 20 years ago. The drivers are much better. The roads are great. GPS. Fewer pedestrians crossing the street at random. Traffic laws are generally obeyed. It’s unusual to see a car going through red lights or the wrong direction in a bike lane. ...

I moved to Beijing 20 years ago today. It was to be a two year stint, a life experiment. I didn’t know at the time that “two years in Beijing” was something of a foreigner cliche. It closely associated with another - you come to Beijing for two years and stay for 10. In those early years, hot dogs and tacos were hard to find. Sure, we had Peter’s Tex-Mex at Jianguomen which “did the job” but couldn’t hold a candle to any of the Mexican restaurants/markets on my hometown’s main street. I tried to make my own, tacos and chili with mixed results despite getting supplies from Jenny Lou/Wang’s. Beans and tortillas were especially bad. ...