It is 4pm and I’m looking for the remote control so I can listen to some music as I write this. It is 4:10pm and I am still looking for the remote. I give up. I think maybe I should enforce a house rule to put the remote back on the TV stand when you are done watching TV. But I don’t want to be that dad. The enforcer dad of things kids will figure out anyway. ...
I am driving Lydia to a classmates birthday party. We are a bit late. We can blame my driving or we can blame China. Yes, it is a China moment. To get directions to the party was a bit of a challenge as I only had the place name in Chinese. I used the phone number to find the address and English and then used Google maps to get me driving directions. Once on the road I naturally missed the exit which means I had to take the next exit and make a U-turn. On the Beijing expressways this means a 20 minute detour. I found the street I needed to turn onto and it was a disaster. It is a scene a bit hard to describe but one familiar if you’ve spend anytime exploring Beijing. A village surrounded by urbanization. Narrow streets with cards squeezing by in both directions and occasional deadlocks when street obstacles only allowed one way traffic. Everyone, from pedestrians, to bicycles, to carts, to cars, to buses all operating by their self interest. ...
Elisa is asleep in the back seat as Yang is driving me to the airport to catch my 3:35pm flight to Singapore. I’m running a bit late but not too late until we hit a traffic jam at the airport expressway. Traffic jams on the airport expressway are not too uncommon as police often escort third level diplomats from third world countries. The delays tend to be brief and traffic picks back up as soon as the diplomat passes by. In this case, however, cars were not moving. 10 minutes passed. Then 20. Yang calls he friend who works for the airline and he asked them extend the last check-in time to 2:40pm. But at 2:40pm we were still 5K away from the terminal with traffic at a stand still. Some people in the cars behind us got out and started jogging or walking along the expressway. I would not have been able to make it by 2:40pm if I ran so I stayed put. ...
I have just joined a conference call at work and I’m waiting for it to get started. It doesn’t look to be a very exciting call. One of those calls where either my manager or myself should be on the call, but not both. So I take a peek at facebook on my phone to check in on my niece Catie’s status. She’s dead. I reread the post from my sister in law a few times to make sure there’s no misunderstanding. There is none. My body heaves. The call continues. ...
Aidan comes into the room bleeding from scraps on and near his knee. He says how much it hurts. I ask him what happened and he said he fell off his bike. This is not too hard to imagine. He gets going fast enough that he loses control or runs into a curb and down he goes. I check out the wounds which are just a bit deeper than skin scraps and ask him to wash it off. He will be fine. ...
I heard recently that scientists have pinned down the age kids go from adorable to annoying. It is 4.5 years old. I am thinking about this when Elisa comes into the room and says to me, “Baba, teach me all English”. I know why she is asking and her intent is pure. She is just so perfect for a toddler not quite four. I know this moment, the way she is at this precise age, will be gone. It will be gone before I even notice it. That’s just the way kids age in a parent’s eyes. It’s like seeing that one week old baby and remembering what your kids where like then. Even if that memory is hard to grasp. ...
I am pushing Elisa in her stroller when I notice her head leaning to the right. I sneak a look at her face and see her eyes closed. Nap time. I keep pushing her to Lido Park where I prop the stroller flat and let her sleep. I stand and listen to podcasts all the while thinking this is the last spring I will be doing this with her. With any child. Until maybe our kids have kids of their own. ...
I am at The Den with my friend Steve and we have just ordered dinner and a beer. We’ve been meeting at The Den every Wednesday night for about a year. It is 2008, my third year in Beijing and Steve’s forth. Strangely enough the early years for an expat in Beijing are often the easiest. You are busy trying to learn the language, the culture, and the bustling city drags you along. There are waves of new foreigners in town that are having similar experiences and it is easy to feel connected. Opportunity feels limitless, even if no real opportunity is at hand. Everything is just so new that you feel renewed. At least the part of you that isn’t feeling homesick and isolated, for sure that is part of the experience as well. ...
It’s 7:05am and I take the elevator down with Aidan and Lydia. I get off at the first floor while they keep going to the parking garage. Off to school they go, off to work I go. I put on my respro face mask to help filter out the car exhaust and pollution. I put on my gloves to deal with the mid 30s “spring” mornings and then I’m off. Well, for about 50 meters when I have to stop, take out an electric key, and open the world’s most annoying gate that our apartment complete recently installed. A gate they installed to keep, I’m assuming hypothetical thieves out but in fact does a remarkable job at keeping residents in. ...
Aidan is out with Yang and somehow they know Elisa wants an Ice Cream. One of those three kuai McDonalds ice creams. What were called “frosties” when I was a kid. Yang buys it and Aidan holds it for Elisa. Aidan does not take a bit or even a small lick but concentrates on keeping the cone upright and the ice cream on the cone. It takes them a while to get home and involves a stop or two. When Yang and Aidan finally make it home Aidan walks through the door holding the ice cream for Elisa. Aidan looks a bit tired from the concentration it took to keep the treat in tact. Elisa meets them, sits down and takes the cone from Aidan. After Elisa takes a couple of licks Aidan asks Elisa if he can have a bite. “No” comes the definitive response. Aidan and Yang explain all the hard work Aidan did in getting the ice cream home. Elisa understands. Again, can Aidan have a bite? “No”. ...