Family

The first night I am back from my two weeks in the states Elisa walks towards the front door and asks our ayi to put on her jacket. She says she wants to go to “jenny lous” the small expat grocery store located on the first floor of our complex. Yang tells me this is my fault, that Elisa has been wanting to go to Jenny Lous every night. So I volunteer to take her and we have a nice father/two year old moment on that walk to the store. When we get there it turns out she wanted some candy, I of course oblige and she is happy. ...

Last Friday I stayed home from work because of a pretty severe cold. As the day progressed it got worse and I was feeling lethargic. When I finally lied down to rest for the night my stomach made a gurgling sound. Diarrhea came soon afterward and lasted through the night. Well, actually, it lasted through the next night. And the next. I decided to power through work on Monday and put in my typical 10 hour day only to find myself bottomed out on Tuesday morning. So I went to the hospital Tuesday morning and got some meds to treat the symptoms. It was some kind of virus which western medicine can’t do a lot about but let it run its course. My mother-in-law keeps reminding me that Chinese medicine can help with virus. I stayed home the rest of Tuesday and all day Wednesday, feeling at my weakest point on Wednesday afternoon. When I woke up on Thursday and stepped on the scale I learned I had lost 11 pounds in six days. Thursday has been a much better day, small meals taste good and are no longer making my stomach churn. Some of my energy is coming back. Tomorrow I board a plane for a short 11 hour flight to San Francisco. ...

A friend is driving me home after a dinner at one of our favorite hangouts, a Beijing Bar Pub called The Den. We are passing under and overpass and there is a white banner running across it’s length with some kind of slogan in Chinese. I know it is a slogan because next to it is the English translation, “ To be civilized citizen in Chaoyang to build civilization ”. Now, I’m not one to point out all the mistranslations around town but this one strikes me a particularly odd. Odd enough that I take out my phone and snap a picture. ...

Aidan, Lydia, and Elisa all make friends in different ways. Elisa is at the age where you can’t quite tell if she is going to be outgoing and crazy like her mom or reserved and crazy like her dad. With adults, she definitely has her pecking order. When Yang is around, and an adult tries to do take care of her in some way – say push a stroller – she will adamantly call for Yang. If Yang doesn’t jump in, the voice gets loader and loader and then she begins to revolt by squiggling her body. If Yang is not around, then Cui Ayi gets the call, followed by dozens of others and then eventually her father. With kids, Elisa of course has Aidan and Lydia and they can be found playing together on what feels and sounds like a constant basis. Aidan in particular is good at taking care and entertaining his younger sister. As far as kids her own age, Elisa does not lack for friends, however she has one main friend Weili. Last week, I stayed home from work a couple of mornings in order to watch the Giant’s playoff games. Which means I got to observe the household pattern in the morning. It went like this – Yang left for tennis, xiao ayi arrived at 9:15am and starting cleaning. Elisa went to the down stairs playground to play with cui ayi. An hour later Elisa returned with Weili and Weili’s ayi. Weili greats me with “aisha baba, aisha baba”. ”Weili’s ayi watched Weili ayi while the two ayis I employee cooked lunch and continued to clean the apartment. ...

I first visited Qingdao with my wife and parents back in the fall of 2002. I remember the date and time because the Giants were making their world series playoff run and we were able to catch parts of the national league playoff games on what passes for ESPN here. Qingdao, as a second tier China city wasn’t super impressive at that time and while it attracted its fair share of domestic tourist, very few international tourist went there. (the foreigners in town consisted largely of Korean and Japanese business folks and the ever present Russians). Over the years, we’ve visited Qingdao maybe three times and each time it gets a bit better in my estimation. Or maybe I am just getting used to it. ...

It is 6pm and I am walking down the hallway of the Sophia Hotel Qingdao when a middle aged man is returning to his room. He is be supported by two other middle aged men without whom it appears he would not be able to walk. He was a victim of Chinese dinner with drinking tradition, which some laowai (foreigners) here simply refer to as a “baijiu (while alcohol) party”. ...

I’m sitting in Shanghai Airlines first class lounge as I wait for my flight to Qingdao. The first class lounge is nice, a bit understated by the standards of first class lounges. As if I have a lot of experience in first class lounges. The reason I am in the first class lounge is because Yang got some kind of break on the ticket. Yang, the kids, and her dad will meet me in Qingdao and then we will spend five nights on some island whose name I can’t remember. So it is kind of like the perfect vacation light for me – no kids on the plane and first class. ...

I come home from work and find Lydia in front of the computer, frustrated that she can’t pick the right accessory for the barbie doll like dress up game. In the living room, Elisa is sitting with cui ayi watching cartoons. In the back bedroom, Aidan is watching his own cartoons. I think now would be a good time to send the TVs to all the parents who want to have dumb kids. I turn off the screens and take the kids downstairs to play. ...

I am standing up eating peanuts out of a plastic cup. Elisa walks up to me and beckons me to “my chair” and asks me to sit down. I don’t sit down so she climbs up on to the chair herself and sits down, as it to demonstrate to me what she means. She asks me to sit down again and I oblige. She does this because most nights at this time I sit in my chair and have a handful of peanuts and read The Chronicle on my Kindle. So once I am seated, Elisa climbs down and stands next to my chair and asks for a peanut as this is her shared nightly ritual with me. I tell her “just one” and she nods and greedily eats the half peanut I give her. She waits a moment and asks for another. I say “last one” and she says “last one”. A moment passes and she says “last one” and I hand her another. I check with Yang if Elisa knows what “last one” means in English and indeed Elisa knows; we confirm by having her ask for “last one” in Chinese. That said, I’m pretty sure our Ayi thinks “last one” means “peanut”. ...

I head downstairs after my morning workout and Lydia and Elisa are in the playground. Elisa is coming down the slide and Lydia is going way high on the swing. Lydia beams at me on her way up and says “babi, babi”. Elisa reaches the bottom of her slide, stands up and runs to me also saying “babi, babi.” I am quite happy at this moment. I greet then, tell them I am off to work, then hop on my bike and confidently push off for the 15 minute ride to the subway station. A half block away, I realize my tires are too low on air to make it, so I circle back home and pump them up. Upon my second exit, the girls still wave but seem as interested in their play than saying goodbye a second time. I am left with an impression of my two girls being very close, kind of like in this two pictures: ...