Family

Five years ago today I checked two bags, boarded Air China flight 986 in SFO, and was on my way to Beijing. When I landed in Beijing Yang, Aidan, and Lydia met me at the airport to welcome me. I remember seeing Yang put Aidan on the ground, place a a flower in his hand, tell him to run to his father. Aidan ran straight to Jim Courier – the tennis pro – who also happened to be on my flight. Yang smiled, perhaps at Courier, and then it didn’t matter as I was reunited with them. It had been just over two months since they moved to Beijing and as you might imagine both Aidan and Lydia had changed a lot during that time. ...

Spring has been a little slow in coming to Beijing and with today’s weather around 50 degrees we just declared victory. Spring is here whether or not Spring thinks so. To celebrate, Yang played tennis outside this morning and had another winning match. Recently Yang became champion of the taitai tennis league which translates to the “wives tennis league”. It is the name a bunch of foreign woman, mostly here with their expat husbands, gave to the league. The funny thing is I don’t think they would call themselves the “wives tennis league” back home, but here it’s kind of cute. ...

I’ve been a bit worn down and not seeing enough of the kids as I would like so I decided this weekend would be a family weekend. Which is kind of hard because the kids can contribute to the worn down-ness feeling especially if you are, as I said, starting out worn down. But what is not to love about Aidan’s fascination with Pokémon Cards, Lydia’s joy with her purple horse, and Elisa’s exuberance for old fashion chocolate donuts. So Yang and I debated on where to take the kids. We considered the wild animal park out by Badaling but was worried about the traffic and (at least me) the effect on the kids of seeing small animals eaten alive by lions. Especially since Lydia really wants a rabbit and rabbits are one of the main feeds. So we instead focused on a outing closer to town, in Shunyi. After a hearty lunch, we headed over to a villa complex that was rumored to have rabbits. In the parking lot out front, Lydia demoed her new hat, which she said was a Michael Jackson hat. (MJ has been really popular here, especially after his death) ...

Aidan wants to go outside and play frisbee so he puts on his coat and goggles. The goggles are large, like the kind that come with snorkeling gear. Aidan explains that the goggles will help prevent the frisbee from hitting him in the eye. We get downstairs and it isn’t as cold today, maybe the high 30s. The frisbee comes out of my hand smooth and floats towards Aidan. Aidan stares at it and for a moment it looks like the frisbee will hit Aidan square on the goggles but then it rises over Aidan’s head and lands behind him. Aidan turns to retrieve it and throws it back to me. He isn’t a very skilled frisbee tosser just yet and the frisbee ends up in a bush nearby. It is my job to fetch it out of the bush. We repeat. Aidan is happy playing. I am happy playing. ...

The house is noisy and not just noisy but loud and noisy. This is my cue to go to expat friendly supermarket on the first floor of our apartment complex. I say “who wants to go to Jenny Lou’s” and Lydia and Elisa respond affirmative. Lydia in her whiny “me, i go” and Elisa in her life affirming “hao ba”. So I wait for Lydia to put on some warmer closes as it has snowed earlier in the day. When Lydia’s done I scan the living room for Elisa but can’t find her so I call out. “Elisa, Elisa”. I here Elisa sounds and walk into the kids room. No Elisa. I turn, my eyes see into the bathroom. Into our standup shower. Down to the small pastic bathtub we use to bathe Elisa. Elisa sitting in the tub, turns and smiles at me. The tub is fill of water and Elisa is fully clothed. ...

Yang’s cell phone rings. It is 8am and we are asleep in our hotel in Jakarta. Aidan is on the line from Beijing. He’s crying. Today is his seventh birthday and Yang’s mom has told him he cannot buy any toys. His cry is not that of the spoiled whine (although to say he is not spoiled is not accurate either) but one of genuine hurt. Yang tells him he can spend 100 RMB on a toy; after all he only spent 159 RMB of his 400 RMB budget when celebrated his birthday last week. As we fall back to sleep I am trying to remember the day Aidan was born. Memoires fade and merge and I wish I could remember more. I try to remember what I was doing that morning. Which causes me to think about who I was working for at that time. Hmmm. Feb 2003. Could either be contracting for the bank or at MechnicNet, but I think I didn’t join MechanicNet until that May, so it would be while I was still making a decent income contracting. It was two weeks before Aidan’s due date (or more properly called Yang’s due date?) and Yang asked me to work from home. Seems there was some sign. She made an appointment with her decrepitly old – I mean experienced doctor – who examined her which resulted in her water breaking. We then checked into the hospital, Yang at first feeling happy and ready. After a few hours no contractions so labor is induced with a drug called pitocin. I remember thinking this was a little quick – we had read induction would be within 24 hours of water breaking – but ok. They hook up Yang to the monitors I am watching them closely for signs of baby distress. There appears to be some, so i mention to the nurse who says it’s not for this room. The nurse also adds that I must be a first time dad. ...

Yang and I are at a gate in the Jakarta airport waiting for our connecting flight to Bali. It is 5:30am in the morning a and we have been waiting for over three hours. It would have been six hours except our flight from Xiamen to Jakarta was delayed by two hours because of some visa problems some fellow passengers had. I am looking for my cell phone. I’ve been looking on and off for 30 minutes. I have looked everywhere on my person and in my carryon when I finally tell Yang. She checks her purse and asks some random airport staff if there is a lost and found. Apparently there is only a lost. We board the plane with my mind already thinking about the next model of phone I will get. I am torn between iPhone, an Android moto, or going with a cheap Nokia. The latter being the best choice for a phone phone, as opposed to a phone/chat/play/vanity object. ...

I am walking with Aidan to the Baskin-Robins in Lido hotel complex. Aidan is talking about dragons. He shows me a card with a three headed dragon on it. He says the dragon likes to eat people. I ask him why not chickens. Or steak. Or..he interrupts me. Aidan says he just likes to eat people. I asked like daddy people, or all people. He says all people and this is a kind of relief. I clarify whether the dragon eats kids or just big people. Aidan says it will eat kids. We continue to discuss the dragon’s eating habits and Aidan is quite animated. Aidan says when the dragon sees people its like when other animals sees chickens. He describes it like a cartoon, at least that’s what I see in my head. When I asked him where the dragon poo-poos, he says the dragon does not poo-poo. I ask what happens after the digests a person and Aidan says the dragon spits the people out of his mouth on a plume of water. Aidan goes on to describe that the dragon lives in the water and not the land but that it can fly and hunt on the land. That the water provides the dragon with a weapon to spit at people like other dragons use fire. ...

We had a light snow last night and at Lydia’s suggestion we head to Side Park to play in the snow. Side is just two blocks away – maybe a five minute walk – but we drive because the ground is still wet, its cold, and we are lazy. It reminds me of a TED video I watched yesterday in which the speaker says we humans are good at solving 99% of the problem but have a hard time with the last one percent because we humans do weird stuff. Anyway, we get to the park and the paved trails (all trails are paved) are clear and alongside the trail is a nice dusting of snow. I am able to make a nice round snow ball and chuck it at Yang, then another at Aidan, and another at Lydia. Aidan is having a hard time making the ball and Lydia is distracted. Yang gets them interested in chasing me and the snow goes back and forth. Then the workers notices us. The workers are sweeping the snow off the trails with bamboo brooms. There are about six in all, sweeping away and no doubt they’ve been at it a while. They are not so keen on us getting snow back on the trail even though its really only a little bit and that bit will melt in the warming day. But I raised well enough to respect the working man and know enough that they are likely being judged by how clean that trail is. ...

It is Saturday night and I am watching Elisa by myself for maybe the second time in her first 18 months. We are getting along fine and I take a seat on the sofa and zone out for 30 seconds. I hear a noise and look down and there is Elisa – dragging her high chair in front of me. This was he subtle way of letting me know she was hungry. ...