Family

The dentist is tell me to relax as she is poking me and asking me “does this hurt” when we both know that when she hits “the spot”, she won’t need to ask. She finally does with some kind of frozen Q-tip contraction and then for good measures verifies that it isn’t just one tooth that is causing pain, but two. It feels like a scene from Marathon Man where the Dustin Hoffman character is pursued to talk by a dentist with pliers. With the area of pain identified, I head for X-rays which are fairly painless but apparently not safe as the technician runs the triggering cord outside the office as he snaps the pictures. Then I sit and wait in the lobby while the film develops and the dentist figures out what it all means. I’m pretty sure what it will mean for me. ...

It is 6:32AM or there about and I leave the bedroom ready for a quick snack before taking Aidan to catch his shuttle bus. But Aidan is gone, having just left for the bus with Cui Ayi. I ask Yang’s mom Yihang why they left so early, that the bus won’t be there for another 10 minutes. She says “no problem, Cui Ayi can take him”. I say I know she can take him, but he will just be standing there and besides I actually like taking him. She repeats, “no problem, Cui Ayi can take him”. At which time I notice Lydia, standing on a chair, looking out her bedroom window for Aidan to pass below on his walk to the bus stop. ...

Lydia likes to draw and she works at it for hours at a time. As she’s gotten better at it, she asks for help less and less often which is good because her drawing long eclipsed anything I could do. We have drawings she’s made lying around our house and my office, her output is prolific enough and we are just lazy enough that we don’t capture them in a very formal way. Maybe someday we will regret that however I suspect not since we are such a transient tribe of five. ...

Last weekend was a three day weekend which I extended to four by taking Tuesday off. Some co-workers naturally asked where I was going but in fact there was no plan, just futz around, spend time with the kids and Yang, and decompress a bit. And the best thing about four day weekends is a three day work week the following week. So on the extra Tuesday I had off, I futzed around a bit, went to IKEA with Yang bought an unassembled chair that is actually comfortable so I can type these blog entries in style. We then planned lunch and immediately dismissed having lunch at IKEA. You might not think lunch and IKEA belong in the same sentence unless you are a termite, yet IKEA lunch is wildly popular here. In fact there were many more people in the IKEA lunch canteen when we left than the actual store. So we decided on a new place, a Belguim restaurant called Morel’s. Morel’s is not new to Beijing, we’ve noticed it since we moved her, but have never tried it. This would be the day. Yang’s friend’s Shirley met us there and for 88 RMB we got a three course meal, choice of beverage (beer, wine, cola), and coffee or tea. I ended up with two poached eggs on toast w/mushroom sauce, penne pasta, and desert. Around us were Europeans speaking French, none too skinny. It was a nice relaxed atmosphere, a fun experience, and reinforcing of why we live here. It made me glad I took the day off work. I noted as much to Yang. She said it was just a normal Tuesday. ...

Five years ago today I checked two bags, boarded Air China flight 986 in SFO, and was on my way to Beijing. When I landed in Beijing Yang, Aidan, and Lydia met me at the airport to welcome me. I remember seeing Yang put Aidan on the ground, place a a flower in his hand, tell him to run to his father. Aidan ran straight to Jim Courier – the tennis pro – who also happened to be on my flight. Yang smiled, perhaps at Courier, and then it didn’t matter as I was reunited with them. It had been just over two months since they moved to Beijing and as you might imagine both Aidan and Lydia had changed a lot during that time. ...

Spring has been a little slow in coming to Beijing and with today’s weather around 50 degrees we just declared victory. Spring is here whether or not Spring thinks so. To celebrate, Yang played tennis outside this morning and had another winning match. Recently Yang became champion of the taitai tennis league which translates to the “wives tennis league”. It is the name a bunch of foreign woman, mostly here with their expat husbands, gave to the league. The funny thing is I don’t think they would call themselves the “wives tennis league” back home, but here it’s kind of cute. ...

I’ve been a bit worn down and not seeing enough of the kids as I would like so I decided this weekend would be a family weekend. Which is kind of hard because the kids can contribute to the worn down-ness feeling especially if you are, as I said, starting out worn down. But what is not to love about Aidan’s fascination with Pokémon Cards, Lydia’s joy with her purple horse, and Elisa’s exuberance for old fashion chocolate donuts. So Yang and I debated on where to take the kids. We considered the wild animal park out by Badaling but was worried about the traffic and (at least me) the effect on the kids of seeing small animals eaten alive by lions. Especially since Lydia really wants a rabbit and rabbits are one of the main feeds. So we instead focused on a outing closer to town, in Shunyi. After a hearty lunch, we headed over to a villa complex that was rumored to have rabbits. In the parking lot out front, Lydia demoed her new hat, which she said was a Michael Jackson hat. (MJ has been really popular here, especially after his death) ...

Aidan wants to go outside and play frisbee so he puts on his coat and goggles. The goggles are large, like the kind that come with snorkeling gear. Aidan explains that the goggles will help prevent the frisbee from hitting him in the eye. We get downstairs and it isn’t as cold today, maybe the high 30s. The frisbee comes out of my hand smooth and floats towards Aidan. Aidan stares at it and for a moment it looks like the frisbee will hit Aidan square on the goggles but then it rises over Aidan’s head and lands behind him. Aidan turns to retrieve it and throws it back to me. He isn’t a very skilled frisbee tosser just yet and the frisbee ends up in a bush nearby. It is my job to fetch it out of the bush. We repeat. Aidan is happy playing. I am happy playing. ...

The house is noisy and not just noisy but loud and noisy. This is my cue to go to expat friendly supermarket on the first floor of our apartment complex. I say “who wants to go to Jenny Lou’s” and Lydia and Elisa respond affirmative. Lydia in her whiny “me, i go” and Elisa in her life affirming “hao ba”. So I wait for Lydia to put on some warmer closes as it has snowed earlier in the day. When Lydia’s done I scan the living room for Elisa but can’t find her so I call out. “Elisa, Elisa”. I here Elisa sounds and walk into the kids room. No Elisa. I turn, my eyes see into the bathroom. Into our standup shower. Down to the small pastic bathtub we use to bathe Elisa. Elisa sitting in the tub, turns and smiles at me. The tub is fill of water and Elisa is fully clothed. ...

Yang’s cell phone rings. It is 8am and we are asleep in our hotel in Jakarta. Aidan is on the line from Beijing. He’s crying. Today is his seventh birthday and Yang’s mom has told him he cannot buy any toys. His cry is not that of the spoiled whine (although to say he is not spoiled is not accurate either) but one of genuine hurt. Yang tells him he can spend 100 RMB on a toy; after all he only spent 159 RMB of his 400 RMB budget when celebrated his birthday last week. As we fall back to sleep I am trying to remember the day Aidan was born. Memoires fade and merge and I wish I could remember more. I try to remember what I was doing that morning. Which causes me to think about who I was working for at that time. Hmmm. Feb 2003. Could either be contracting for the bank or at MechnicNet, but I think I didn’t join MechanicNet until that May, so it would be while I was still making a decent income contracting. It was two weeks before Aidan’s due date (or more properly called Yang’s due date?) and Yang asked me to work from home. Seems there was some sign. She made an appointment with her decrepitly old – I mean experienced doctor – who examined her which resulted in her water breaking. We then checked into the hospital, Yang at first feeling happy and ready. After a few hours no contractions so labor is induced with a drug called pitocin. I remember thinking this was a little quick – we had read induction would be within 24 hours of water breaking – but ok. They hook up Yang to the monitors I am watching them closely for signs of baby distress. There appears to be some, so i mention to the nurse who says it’s not for this room. The nurse also adds that I must be a first time dad. ...