Family

We are leaving the coliseum in the family station wagon with my dad at the wheel. He’s trying to find a short cut to get to the freeway and to get home. One of his famous short cuts. He decided to follow another driver - “that guy knows where he’s going”. We follow that car for miles. Right until the car pulled into it’s driveway. Looking back, I wonder if my father had been drinking that night and I think likely he was. Four boys at an A’s game, half price night, sneak a flask into the bleachers and forget. I have other memories about his driving plans to and from the game. San Mateo bridge faster than Bay Bridge? Dumbarton bridge on the way back taking advantage of the reverse toll? Parking on the side streets outside the Coliseum to save parking fees. ...

I’m waiting for a Didi to take me to the public security bureau to pick up Elisa’s passport. I’m in a bit of a rush. I was waiting for Elisa to get home from school so we could go together like we did a year ago but she has an extra class today and can’t be home until it’s too late. That and the location has apparently moved from a 10 minute bike ride away to south of Qianmen which is about 30 minutes by car. ...

It’s 5:30am and I am driving Lydia to the airport for her return to Toronto. She’s flying through Warsaw on Polish Airlines which I didn’t even know existed. Maybe it’s better known as human trafficking airlines. Ok, that’s not funny, except to me. A few days before, I get in the elevator at our apartment on my way to pickup a Luckin Coffee americano. It stops on the 5th floor. A middle aged man, shorter than me and with a lean, gets in. He’s wearing a white chef’s outfit including the hat. The outfit is not freshly washed. He’s on a weixin video call talking about what I do not know. His head leans in the other direction as his body. He’s shaving with an electric razor although I see no facial hair. As we exit the elevator on the ground floor, his video call and shaving continues. ...

(the following post is from 2018. I haven’t written the actual story; yet) Prologue I am at a small farewell dinner for someone I don’t know very well. I am making small talk while we waiting for the final two guests to arrive. I compliment the guest of honor for some work related thing. He then asks me how often I workout since he recently saw me running on the streets near the office. I tell him, appreciating what I was expecting to be the reciprocal compliment. Instead a sucker punch. He smirks in a way that that a non funny man who thinks he is being clever smirks. He asks me if if I eat a lot of junk food. I say no, not really. Burgers? Occasionally. Lots of beer? Occasionally with burgers. He smirks again, pleased with himself for explaining why I am so fat. ...

I’m standing in the NIO showroom at Oriental Plaza, about a kilometer away from Tiananmen Square, starting at an ES8 when I flash back to 1980. The ES8 is a beautiful EV SUV. It’s huge. Great range. Luxurious. Third row. Lie flat seats. Massage seats. Sabrina loves it. I think if I get it, then she may watch her TV dramas in the car. But I’m resistant. Being somewhat unreasonable like I can be. It’s too big. If we get it, then she needs to make sure it can fit in our condo’s parking spot. I’m irritated at the thought of getting it but have a hard time saying no. I’m not sure why I’m getting emotional about it. The car I was thinking was the EC6 and it’s not that much smaller. ...

The elderly male doctor’s is friendly with good English. He asks me how I’m doing as he locks the exam room door. At my age, I guess I should be getting annual health checks but I haven’t gotten one in maybe five years. Five years in part because of my own procrastination and in part because the English speaking hospital I normally go to only does rudimentary checkups. That’s because checkups done locally are pretty through and covered by standard insurance. I had one in 2006 and again in 2018. As far as I know, I passed without anything significantly wrong in those checkups. The two prior checkups also had an elderly, slightly overly friendly, good English speaking doctor. I knew what I was in for even before they locked the door. ...

Elisa and I have been slowly watching the TV series Poker Face. An episode a week. We both like it because there’s a murder mystery that’s solved. During a recent viewing, Elisa mentioned that she’s never been to Tianjin. I was pretty sure she had but she didn’t remember so that’s the same as not having been. So, Sabrina arranged a trip for the four of us plus Kobe to go to Tianjin on Easter weekend. ...

I’m sitting on the toilet scrolling twitter. A tweet that led to Amanda. Let’s back up first and tell the story of how Amanda came to be. Its 2013 and I’m on a date. First one since I found myself unexpectedly single at 47. The woman is charming. I am in a super honest phase and over a glass of wine I tell her that for me there will be no marriage, no kids. Her eyes flash like a sword. There would be no second date. This pattern repeats in differant ways and finally I learn maybe not to lead with the “no marriage, no kids” line on the first date. ...

I enter the Toronto airport as the superbowl overtime starts. I’m watching as I make my way to the checkin counter. Self checkin. Print boarding pass and luggage tags. Manual visa check. “Oh, you live in China. Interesting place”. “Interesting” has a different tone than it did 15 years ago. For both the speaker and me. I am a bit anxious. I tend to get anxious at airports. And the game is tense. 49ers score first in overtime. Now, if they can just hold down the Chiefs. And I’m probably anxious from not sleeping well during my trip to Toronto. And there’s the involuntary anxious reaction of leaving my elder kids in Toronto. They’ve been through a lot in the past six months and I’m worried. And I’m anxious about returning to China. Not because of China, but because of my life and work there. It doesn’t have a good vibe at the moment. ...

Somehow the kid’s cat escaped from China before me. When Yang, Aidan, and Lydia moved to Toronto last August they wanted to first get settled and then come back during winter break for their cat, Saisai. Who brings a cat, I thought. Well plans changed and due to a reason or two or three they did not come to Beijing for winter break. Instead, Elisa and I would visit and bring the cat. ...